So I got into this whole Age of Conan hype back in beta and I was really excited to try a new game. I downloaded the huge client, installed and patched, but then found out my computer wasn't able to handle it. It took me precisely 5 minutes to load into the "create a new character" screen - only to find out that it was going to stutter worse than an anxious geek on prom night.

Luckily, my friend also got into the beta, so I vicariously played through him on his Shit-Stomp Computer 2008™. So he made his character, got into the game and behold! My first disappointment was nigh! The graphics were horrible - and the fact they require a computer of Jesus-like proportions to run the game, I was expecting it to look like a fucking work of art. Alas, we'll continue.

After magically being saved from drowning, we took our quest forward into a jungle. We start by seeing a babe tied up for gods know why, but hey I won't complain. We rescue her, fly through this jungle and get to a town. The combat system was pretty cool, in the fact you can react to how someone is attacking or blocking against you, but overall nothing that special. When we got to town, we decided to stop because, fuck, WoW was treating us nicer than this whore of a game.

So that was my first impression.

Fast-forward to this weekend, I have a bad-ass rig now and also bought the retail version of the game to try it out one more time with a bunch of friends. I made myself a character on their server (which was a hassle in itself, with server populations being incredibly high) and set out to begin. Those assholes got to level 40-50 over the last week because they got the "early start" version of the game. So I'm left behind to fend for myself. No big deal right? If they got to 40-50 in a week, I shouldn't be too far behind.

Here is my level 10 Conqueror in all his manly, fox tattoo sportin' glory.

Graphics are all on "High". I'd hate to see it on low.

I gotta tell you, I was pretty bored leveling this guy up. I am told once I get off the "newbie island" I'll be much happier, but fuck me running this is just as bad as WoW.

I'll let you know if I change my tune anytime soon. I am going to give it another shot, but will be making a caster this time.

Anyone else have similar first impressions?

Discuss it here.

Things have been pretty crazy in my life for the past couple of weeks.  To be honest, things have been pretty crazy around the world.  Lots of good things and then you've got some downright terrible things.  Particularly the cyclone / earthquake / ninja death cloud that they've got going on in the Far East.  Can you believe the death toll is already up to 51,000 people?  They've got so many corpses in Burma that the army quit hauling them off.  They say the decaying cadavers are actually poisoning the water supply of small villages claiming more lives. 

Some good things are floating around the news though.  Chicago got named the U.S. city of the year by a prestigious magazine.  In other news London got named the Global City of the year by some shitty rag.  Jack Thompson was found guilty on 21 counts of legal asshattery which is both good and bad.  Good because it's another pompous let's blame everyone but the parents moral crusader getting a hefty dose of first amendment foot to ass.  Bad because he's was in many eyes the leading man for pro video game censorship and with him moving out of the picture we run the risk of someone competent filling his shoes. 

I've done some terrible things in video games.  I've dismembered, decapitated, and disemboweled.  I've murdered, pillaged, maimed, and razed.  I've burnt, stabbed, shot, bit, eaten, skinned, and bludgeoned.  I've committed genocide, regicide, suicide, and homicide.  By my estimates I've killed billions of people; thousands of those have easily been on a one on one, player versus player capacity.  Yet throughout all of the killing and violence the first gun I ever fired in anger was put in my hands by the same government that's trying to tell me video games are ruining America's youth. 
Interactive media is nothing short of an art.  It's right on par with movie making and song artistry.  In some respects it can be more complicated.   Game sales are skyrocketing and violent crime is plummeting.  Why the hell do we still have people still pursuing censorship?  Censoring video games is right up there with burning books.  I don't want to be told what I do in my free time.  I'm not hurting anyone, I'm not hurting myself, and to be honest I feel I've brought a lot of people together and given some people some enjoyment through the medium of games. 

Ugh, this post totally degraded into a rant.  Anyhow, all we're waiting on for closed beta for WTFGTA is the server.  The staff and I are primed to go and will go live the day we get our box set up.  Stay tuned for more wacky fun!

It remains to be seen whether or not the game will live up to its promises. This is FunCom after all, anyone else remember the launch of Anarchy Online? I sure as fuck do, I seem to vividly remember that game inadvertantly formatting people's hard drives. How's that for "bonus content"? I will say that AoC thus far has been quite enjoyable.

I managed to snag myself a Collector's Edition of the game since I preordered many moons ago. It is easily the nicest Collector's Edition game I've run across and some really bad ass packaging to go along with it. Some of the bonus items are a ring that gives a 2% XP bonus to whoever wears it, which is nice for those of us that have jobs and lives. I also got a nifty Mammoth Mount thingy, which is good if you don't want to run slowly, though how a huge fucking wooly mammoth is faster than some dude on foot I'll never know. I also got a cape that allows me to get free drinks in all the taverns in the game. Now, I have no fucking idea why this matters in the game, BUT, could someone PLEASE send me one of these for real life? Thanks.

Now even though I paid for the early access, I've not been able to play much. Saturday was a ridiculous time on the Riverboat for a buddy's bachelor party so you know. I really began playing yesterday when I had recovered from a massive hangover. I didn't play too long, but I am a whopping level 11. I chose the play a Herald of Xotli because being a mage with a really big fucking sword appeals to me quite a bit.

First things first, this game is hard. No more coddling you WoW kiddies. I've died no less than 20 times to monsters. It could be that it's because I need to L2PLAY but wtfever, I am just going to say that the game is hard to make myself look like more of a man! The combat in this game is very interesting, it's a constant button mashing affair. There is no autoattack (hooray!). Basically you start out with three types of attacks (left, overhead, right). You have to hit the corresponding number to attack in that direction, if you're not hitting a button you're standing there getting your ass kicked (trust me, I know) so you better get to hitting some fucking buttons! The cool thing is, the monsters kind of tell you where to hit them, they have little shield icons on each of the 3 sides. The side where they have the least icons is the one you should be attacking (yet another lesson learned the hard way, I thought it was telling me to hit there, I am stupid). The shield icons will change throughout the fight so you're constantly switching tactics and it is super fucking cool, or at the very least novel.

I have no idea if this is how it works in PvP because, as is typical, people usually wait until I have like 5 health left to kill me in the face. Which means that I never get to see if there are any nifty little icons telling me exactly where I need to stick the pointy end of my sword. I just die, I suspect that me dying will take up the majority of my AoC career, just like it did in AC. Should be a fun time to see my little tombstones scattered throughout Hyboria.

A little about my class. It seems as though there are a lot of us in the world, which kind of pisses me off because I like to play those rare classes that no one else does. Again though, a mage with a sword, how can I pass it up. We are the very definition of paper tigers. We wear cloth armor and carry a big sword. The "mage" aspect of the class thus far has been...minimal. That means I am basically charging into combat with a loin cloth and a large, sharp sword. Now if I was the dude at the other end, I would probably run from the naked guy with the sword, but that's just me. I could also hope against hope that maybe he'd slice his own face off during his charge. Anyhow, charging into battle is fun and everything, and I do just fine one on one, but add a couple more enemies and I am F'd in the A. I am sure that eventually I will figure out the proper tactics for taking on this kind of challenge (of which there are MANY), but for right now I'll stick with dying a horrible death. On the bright side, I can turn into a fucking DEMON. Yeah, you heard me right, a fucking demon! Usually I use said demon form to take on larger groups of enemies, but there is a 2 minute cooldown on the spell, so that makes my levelling rate quite slow. It really could just be that once again I need to learn how to play, and it could also be that I sux at low levels and get much more awesome later (far more likely, mainly because I rule).

As it stands right now I have like 5 million points to spend on attributes, but I haven't done it. Except for 50 in Casting Concentration and like 25 in run speed (if only I could spec the Run skill!). I am horribly frightened of fucking up my character because quite frankly I just don't have the time I used to to play these games so I'd prefer to go through the levelling process only once. If anyone has any hints or tips or whatever, feel free to post them in the new and improved Forums.

All in all, even though my time has been limited, I am really enjoying myself. Joy of Villainy has made its home on the Deathwhisper server, feel free to look us up, it won't be hard to find me at any rate. Just follow my tombstones.

Discuss