You like Flash? I got yer Flash

So, I'm here at work bored senseless since it's Sunday and well... it's work. Surfing around I came across Newgrounds. No idea if it's a well known site or not, but it was new to be so I figured I'd post it. There are several Flash games and goodies there - I especially liked killing Pico's classmates. Highly entertaining - give it a look.
- Nighthawk


Los Angeles

I haven't been to LA in a long time and it turns out that I'm going there for E3 May 10-14. If anyone who lives out there wants to schedule a last minute player gathering, lemme know and me and my friends will show. Always all for meeting fans.

And for any California people who've said they wanted to meet me in rl and beat the shit out of me... here's your chance. =)
- Nighthawk

There are some things that money can't buy...

Cab ride to a Kegger - $6.50

Two plastic cups at the door $5.00

3 pack of Trojans (ribbed, for her pleasure) $3.55

Having all your friends bust in and snap a picture while you are fucking some chick in an upstairs bedroom... priceless

- Greybeard


Stonehold, Peacekeepers, and other newbies...

The Peacekeepers under General Zang are one of the anti-pk groups that defends the town of Stonehold on Darktide. When I log onto IRC on Thursday, I'm told by one of the JoV guys that Zang posted about a meeting the Peacekeepers were going to have on Saturday. Yummy... always nice to know right when and where you enemies are going to be - especially when they're dumb enough to post it on a public website. Who wouldn't take advantage of it?

Well, we planned a small group of 7 to go and give our blessing to the meeting. Ron, Patriot, Vapor, NotoriousGod, Azile, Contempt and a couple of others were there for the fun. We buff, we gate, and we walk outside the dungeon we gated into - right into the middle of Zang, Red Monica, and a couple of others. Just who we were looking for! I hop on Red Monica as Zang hops on me. Red Monica dies quick and my screen is filling with "you evade General Zang". He's quickly polished off by one of our mages. I missed who else was there, but I know a mage was hitting me with spells. In any case, soon their bodies were decorating the Dereth country-side.

We charge into town and find two people who quickly drop. Not 40 seconds later a charge came from the northeast of more reds than I could count. We fight, I got separated from the group as I killed a meleer and a few moments later a mage. I then find that I'm on the screen with a radar-full of reds and no greens. So, I decided it would be best to depart and ask the fellowship where they were. We'd all gotten split up, so we decide to re-group - we'd lost two people.

Anyhow, to make a long story short, it was a great fight that unfortunately ended for me by some newbie assessing me so much that I was still getting assess messages at the lifestone. I counted 40 assess after the ls and guessed about 200 before I died. Needless to say, I lagged and was an easy target. The group is pushed back by numbers and we eventually made a similar raid later on (with less people).

The point? The point is that General Zang kinda bullshit about the whole experience. He said that we were "10 PKs 20 levels over us". Unless he's 22nd lvl (which, btw, he's not), our HIGHEST member wasn't 20 levels above him. Our average fellowship member was actually lower level than him. Plus, there were definitely not 10 of us. What bothers me is people who claim to be good and whatnot, but then have to lie and exagerate to make them seem like them losing wasn't because they were beaten by tactics. At least I wasn't the moron that publically posted a "we'll be here at this time... come kill us!"

What's further amusing is that internal conflicts between two of the guilds that live in that town (as you can read the boring account of on Zang's site). As a guildemate, Padan Fain, said about their probelms, "Not only did JoV come in and rape us, we held each other down and raped ourselves."

Too funny...
- Nighthawk


Maybe me and the Queen can take another over.

So there we are the other night on this shuttle after the NIN concert, and I was relating some wishes to one Joe and an Eric that went somewhat like "now all I need to see is The Melvins." Which turned out to be irony.

They both kind of look at me, and say, The Melvins are here at a club next week...want to go? So, before I become erect to my full four inches, I say, "What day? Please say Thursday."

They glance at one another, and say "Thursday."

Well, doesn't that just suck a nut. (Thursday happens to be the only night in the week I don't work 12-14 hours). Only work 8 that day, and well, have the rest of the evening off.

Just so happens we end up there tonight right under Buzz and crew on the floor in the very front, capable of tying his bootstrings, at a small club 5 minutes from Joe's pad. Needless to say, hitting that 4 inches wasn't difficult.

$12.00 cover, $3.00 a pint of Guinness, The Melvins on stage doing two sets, no opening acts, and off of work. What more can one want in life. Besides saline of course.

I even got to take a piss alongside the Bass player after the first set. Nothing like a little quality time with musical talent in a scummy club restroom.

My neck hurts. - Ron

Yet another In Concept development for the UO-R patch


In Concept

New Armor Revisions

With all the recent emphasis on sex in online gaming, we now plan to add in new armor types including spiked bikini's, platemail codpieces, studded leather thongs and the ever popular, chainmail weenie wrap. - Greybeard


Spaghetti tastes better with Margarine.

Of course, I am pretty sure everything tastes better with margarine. Even Cheerios. And peanut butter is great for the bottoms of Godsmack CD's.

I was fortunate enough to catch Nine Inch Males on their stop through Columbus, along with our good Reverend Maynard. I would like to take this opportunity to inform those of you in cities on their itinerary that you should most definitely take some time out of your I.P.'s connection and attend the show.

While always digging them, I had never previously seen NIN before, and after having done so I can easily say they fit right up there in the "List of Things One Should Do In Their Life Before Emphysema." It was just a flat out asskicking show. Period. Have faith in the Ron, and even if you despise associating yourself with flocks of real life vampires, do yourself a favor and see them. You won't regret it. I wish words could describe how fucking good a show they put on, but I can't.

So for now, just know that they're Margarine.

Perfect Circle was good, too, of course. Their upcoming album is certainly being looked forward to a good deal more. They were a lot more mellow than I had expected, but still great. But as with most opening bands, they didn't compare to whom they were setting you up for. Can't wait for them (or Tool of course) to be headlining again, as I have yet to see them (or Maynard still) in real action. From what Joe has told me from the 90 gazillion times he's seen Tool, they rank up there in that List as well. I figure after I see them, my Life will be complete, with exception of attending a Godsmack or Creed show armed with a wheelbarrow load of honey-dew melons and a Catapult.

Finally put my finger on what it is exactly that Creed is all about. They are Hootie and the Blowhards, with a little feedback. Someone hurry and lease me a catapult. They're here on the 18th. The same day taxes are due I think. Awe darn, I have to work that day. My Life will never be lived up to it's fullest.

Well, that's all I know for now, which as it seems is just as little as you thought. Haven't been in AC lately due to being a raving workaholic. Got myself a second job to help reimburse Uncle Sam for the expense of jerking that little dumb fucking Cuban boy around a few days longer, and I have wanted to spend the time I actually do have off doing more important things, such as The Melvins being here in town on Thursday, and the about god damned time release of Romance of the Three Chinkdoms VI at a storest near me today. Looks to be a good week. Even if I do spend 90% of it working, extra cash to boot is nice.

Though I sure could use another Credit Card. Shell recently denied me a 20 dollar Secured Gas Card, so I think I might be out of luck. - Ron


Going.. going.. almost gone

Ok, this is my final shameless plus for my pals Lake Superior account. Just over 3 hours left in the sale and bidding is currently at $325. Anyone interested should get those last minute bids in asap. - Greybeard


For the love of God... ENOUGH!

There are really two things that readily come to mind that makes me so nauseous that I'm stuck in my home with explosive diarrhea for a week. One is a greasy pork chop sandwich with pickled sardines and mayo, the other is this endless stream of bullshit that’s been going back and forth between Battlevortex and every other rant site out there.

First and foremost, everyone STFU already and look at the facts.

#1. Murderers are now fucked
. With the new skill gain system, when you take stat loss (and everyone does eventually) you can kiss your murderer goodbye. Being that magery is the primary requisite for a red, and you can no longer gain it (or any other skills) worth a damn in the confines of your own home, you are fucked. Getting a connection lost in the woods and taking 20% more statloss because you died to a passing mongbat while training doesn’t make for much of a murdering career. The main issue here ISNT removal of stat loss, its that maintaining a murderer just became impossible. Origin needs to get their head out their asses on this one and either take murdering totally out of the game, or allow it to maintained with a realistic level of difficulty. Stop blowing smoke up our asses already, this is just more of the same “Really, its NOT a mirror” shit you already gave us.

#2. Stat loss (or some form of penalty) IS needed. We cant have every psychopathic asshole in the game running around committing mass murder, and there needs to be some checks and balances. Stat loss I felt was an acceptable system originally, but now its no longer serves as a fair penalty due to the skill gain patches. Handing out a one-time amnesty, is the stupidest fucking idea I ever heard of. Hellooo... How many 7x GM murderers do you actually think there are out there Calandryll? These guys dont give a rats ass about being blue, they ALREADY HAVE other blue characters. All they care about is being able to inflect pain and suffering on their fellow man. You might as well offer a ham sandwich to a rabbi.

#3. The argument that “Since there is a PvP – land, we need a PvP + land” is stupid. Just because Origin finally wised up and realized that people actually like playing EQ and decided to make a more player-friendly place for its customers to play like EQ, doesnt mean that they need to turn everything that’s been done so far into a giant clusterfuck of blood and guts. If you want to kill people without repercussion, they already have a place for you called Siege Perilous. If that’s not enough unfettered multi player violence for you, I recommend Unreal Tournament. Or therapy. Or both.

#4. He who lives in a glass house shouldn’t throw stones. Anyone at Lum’s page trying to make someone out as a hypocrite or as being indecisive, makes me laugh so hard that my sides hurt. Mr. “I break news stories, then apologize for them” ... Mr. “I’m taking a month off, no wait, I got over it and I’m back the next day” can kiss my ass. We have all had bad days where we wanted to drive to Austin with a high powered rifle and drill someone in the head. To try and make witty posts about the dumb shit other people say and do when you yourself have done the same bullshit in the past, makes you not only a hypocrite, but an asshole.

#5. How about you pricks do something productive? Rather than pissing in each others wheaties about the same silly shit day after day, why not send some flak to Origin for some of the other silly shit in these upcoming patches, like how tamers are getting fucked, and how bards are still fucked, and how these new armor changes basically fuck everyone but mages (like mages needed any more help? And don’t EVEN get me started on that moronic change to mindblast) Fact is that we have greater issues at stake than just whether a handful of people whose dick gets hard about killing fellow players gets the shaft.
- Greybeard


Glad it's not me

Some pictures don't need an intro...

- Nighthawk


A shameless plug

An old friend and local drinking buddy has finally decided to give up his UO (crack) habit. His account on LS is actually pretty damn nice if I do say so myself, and I am listing it for him in a no reserve sale on E-bay. If you are interested in picking up a solid account to go lay some smack down with, this is it - Greybeard


This gave me a chuckle

Received this in one of those mass forwarded joke mails. This or a similar variation has probably been seen at least a few gazillion times, but since when would I be up to date on anything. I still think Kangaroos are some damned nice looking shoes.

Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women











By the way, High Fidelity was a great movie. The guy on the messageboard must be a tool. Imagine, a tool on our board. I know, it's hard.
- Ron


Why does my shit have to suck?

As is known by now I am the proud owner of what was described as "the same modem CompUSA throws in for free when you buy a mousepad."

I tend to have this problem, right, where it just decides to give me the finger, and simply refuses to send or receive information back from anywhere. It seems to happen to me every 5 minutes tonight for some reason even after fresh reboots. If ever there comes a time my cheap ass updrades my internet connection, I plan to get medieval on this god damned thing with a baseball bat in my garage somewhat like Michael Bolton and Samir do on their printer in Office Space. Hell, I might even actually let Joe come attend and play some of that horrible "grunt in the deepest voice you can possibly muster for extensive periods of time where no human being has the faintest chance of interpreting what is being said over the frequent double bass-pedaling beats" Death Metal horseshit he listens to while I lay the smackdown on the modem that tries to Front me.

I kill my connection, reestablish it, and it logs onto my ISP just fine, and then when I try to do anything such as send an e-mail, connect to any of numerous websites, or log into AC it just sits there and says "connecting....or am I? Fucker." and doesn't ever do a damned thing. Then, when I disconnect, it takes a year and 4 days to "click" , or "hang up the phone" I guess. I am prone to disconnecting, grabbing some Nacho Cheesier Doritos, catching a movie, and coming back to the keys with fucked up orange fingers and it'll just then finally click off.

Sucks to own shit that sucks. I assure you.

Am I the only one with a modem with such rude behavior?

Oh well, while my connection is remaining active here on this update page, I guess I better finish my mumbling before it decides to shaft me again.

If you're interested in any or all news regarding AC Darktide, Azile's new project, The Darktide News Network is in it's beginning phases. You can always head there to see what's happening in the game world we waste our time in (or attempt to with shitty modem in my case). All of the Darktide Political hoopla right there at your orange little fingertips. What more could you possibly want. Shameless plug? No way.

Checking the movie High Fidelity tomorrow night with my butt-buddies, so I might give you a full length critique/synopsis on the morrow. Gee that sounds pretty exciting.

Hey maybe I'll even con Joe into buying me some elite modem while we're out. If so, I'll send you pictures of my current modem's corpse and some footage of it's destruction.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms VI comes out next weekend. Be afraid. Be very afraid. You just might not ever see me again. Nothing gets me off more than pretending to be an Ancient Chink. Try it sometime. - Ron


White House intern training program or Elder Counselor application day at OSI ?

You decide. - Greybeard

What the Fuck is Wrong With Americans Today?

On Howard Stern today, Robin was giving us news of the latest lawsuit that eats the taco of the famous "Hot Coffee at McDonald's" case. The latest and greatest case to hit the courts is some fucking Doctor bimbo sueing Nike for millions "because the shoestrings were too long." She was busy speedwalking in the park when she tripped over her shoestring and broke her fat fucking wrist. Sueing for millions. What the hell is wrong with people today. It seems no one can take responsibility for their own fucking retardation, and are quick to jump straight to court for some lame ass lawsuit for their own stupidity - and they end up winning. What's next? The last one I heard about was the guy who started smoking well after Surgeon General's warnings were printed on the fucking box, and his emphysema'd ass is "soon to be living the rest of his short ass life" as a millionaire. How he won I have no idea, but it just goes to show how fucking dumb the law is getting these days. I think if I ever get in a car wreck, I am going to sue the Department of Transportation for not having wider roads, then sue Mazda for putting a spoiler on my homosexual automobile, then perhaps sue Phillip Morris because I got smoke in my eye from my cigarette, which caused me to be temporarily blinded long enough to run into a telephone pole. No one ever warned me about smoke-in-the-eye, and I guarantee you that's far worse pain than any form of lung cancer. Those fuckers will pay. Then I'll sue God for allowing Godsmack and Creed to exist.

And why in God's name does Craig Kilbourne follow Caroline in the City and The Martin Short Show on CBS in my town? Martin Short fucking sucks. And Caroline in the City? How in the hell does this trash get onto the air in the first place. I think in every other real city Kilbourne follows Letterman. I am not so fortunate here in Columbus. And why the fuck is the Master's Tournament Highlights on right now instead of David Letterman with Samuel L. Jackson as I had planned on all day. Who gives more than a half of a shit about golf on this planet anyway. Much less, which golfer is awake at 11:30 P.M. anxiously awaiting some exciting golf highlights. I'll give you a spoiler - it eventually gets to the hole. Now cut the shit and put Letterman back on. If I miss Sam Jackson the T.V.'s going through the storm door and I'm suing Sony for the glass shard that ends up in my testicle.

On further note, things that actually don't suck are occurring here pretty soon. Azile, Icerazor, and A'zash are driving their cold Canadian asses down here to the land of Joe and Ron in early June to attempt to out-do Joe at some Champp's bathroom regurgitation. Rich and Stormcrow haven given interest to driving up here that weekend as well, so it looks like the summer will kick off nicely with another WTF Beer fest. Perhaps this time Bob can stay out of the strip-clubs long enough for his wife to let him attend the festivities.

And last but not least, Joe and I and Eric will be attending Nine Inch Nails and Tool's front man side Project, A Perfect Circle, next weekend. Own. You are jealous, as you should be. - Ron



Raiders R Us

Aerious, Cthulhu, Patriot, and a couple of others were raiding last week in Glenden Wood when we see Lop. Lop is one of the highest level monarchs on Daktide. Now, bear in mind that the highest lvl of us is a 34th lvl meleer when Lop is in the high 50's and a mage. But, since we're willing to take on anyone, we immediately attack. Imperil IV and Vuln IV only do so much against a mage that casts lvl VI protections which is exactly why he was willing to stick around to fight us. Lop however turns out to be an honorable mage fighter - he'll vuln you with a VI and try to war you with minimal drains and no gimpy wand monkey bullshit, the guy just stand up fights. If I had those odds against me, I'd be the biggest draining, wand monkeying mage ever. After a great fight, we eventually make him recall with no casualties. Considering that we all should have died - I was pretty pleased about that.

I sent him a /t of "nice fight" and we go back to our raiding. We finish off GW then head to the Plateau. When we come out from the portal, we see 7 people standing there in matte robes all 37th+ lvl along with like 8-10 more people. Since I don't mind long distance bills, I was on the phone with nearly everyone on the raid (several of them at the same location, thankfully) - instantly everyone expressed their concern with a casual "oh my fucking god." Yet again, since we're completely insane - we attack. Within 30 seconds all the guys in matte robes have recalled to save their precious equipment. Within 5 minutes everyone not with us is dead or gone. We only lost one person. The Plateau is heavy with Lop vassals - irony.

So, last night I'm on the phone with Ron (yes, lots of long distance calls for me) and he says that Lop is in Zaikhal. Seeing Lop anywhere is unusual, but seeing him in our hometown is even more weird. Ron is lvl 41, but is still many many levels below Lop. My sorry lvl 31 doesn't make up for it, but we charge into battle anyhow. Ron does what I love for him to do - Imperil V and Vuln V (in this case, fire vuln). I pull a suicide move and run in and melee the mage with my best flaming nekode. You don't melee mages - you just don't. Lop apparently is not protected against fire because he's taking 8-15 pts of damage a hit. He turns to me and starts casting. It's a vuln - so I have a couple of seconds before I really have to break off and run like hell. Lop is at just under half health when Ron runs up and fires a greater fire arrow.

Life is good. If anyone thinks that our comment about us killing newbies was serious, if you know anything about Darktide that picture will show you the light.

Again, great fight Lop. Thanks for bringing Ballpark Billy and killing me not 10 minutes later. Pierce Vuln VI + arrow = bad.

- Nighthawk