May Archives

May 30th

Fun with shockwave
Dont forget the popcorn
- 2:00 pm EST [Greybeard]

Olbaid of the BH guild on Lake Superior put together this little piece. It's not quite as pretty as some of Ron's work and if you dont play on Lake Superior you might not get it, but its definately worth a look. Check out the SBR Files.

You look marverlous
And how you feel isnt important, its how you look - 8:30 am EST [Greybeard]

beautiful.jpg (10495 bytes) "Stop looting me dammit, youre messing up my hair" - Essolon

Be patient grasshoppah
Fluffy is still in production
- 8:25 am EST [Greybeard]

I have recieved a couple e-mails asking when we can expect to see Fluffy III hit the streets. I assure you that Myra is working his tail off on it and the game should be released sometime next week. Stay tuned for details.

fluffy3teaser.gif (9164 bytes) "Stop whining man, all I need is .5 more skill then you can go" - Fluffy the PK Chicken

May 29th

Beatdowns R' Us
Up close and personal with a PKing powerhouse - 7:45 pm EST [Greybeard]

Now normally I am never one to go about handing out praise to anyone undeserving of it, and that is especially true with the fine folks that I speak of today. Their names evoke a wide array of emotions from fear to hatred, but one thing is for certain and thats if you ever do an allnames and see Entering Britain, Tamara, Account Blocked, Suzie Redrum (not in pic) or PannDorra coming up behind you on Lake Superior, you better be prepared to run or fight because shit is about to hit the fan.

badasses.jpg (29994 bytes)

I took some time today to interview these five, as well as accompany them on a mission or two. A far cry from the stereotypical pee-kay KeWel DooDz, these guys are quite a professional lot. Everything from the runes they recall from to the order in which they loot their victims is a choreographed work of precision. The only panic I observed taking place was among the ranks of those they destroyed. And I do mean destroyed. I watched them cut through groups twice their size tearing them to shreds while the victims for the most part tried only to save their own hides.

badass2.jpg (19602 bytes) badass5.jpg (12494 bytes)

Amazingly, they have no complaints about the present reputation system. According to Entering Britain "I have no problems with stat loss. If it werent for stat loss, everyone would be a murderer, and thats what seperates the men from the boys"

badass4.jpg (8127 bytes) badass6.jpg (9665 bytes)  badass3.jpg (8040 bytes)

Some people may not appreciate my giving special recognition to these five (odds are because they have been killed by em before) and to that I say "Fuck Em" Being a tried and true murderer these days takes real talent and teamwork. You cant buy it from a vendor, you cant macro it, and you sure as hell cant be as succesful as this group without it. You dont have to like these guys, but you should give them their due respect. For being able to thrive in an environment as hostile as the one which OSI has created for the average bad guy these days is a feat worthy of recognition. My hat (and hopefully not head) is off to them for doing what they do best. Kudos.

May 24th

When the going gets tough
The tough get better weapons  - 11:00 pm EST [Greybeard]

Since the new bank opened in Bucs Den, the island has become a haven for Chaos/Order conflict, noto PK's and thieves, and just about any other jagoff who takes pleasure in harrasing people. The problem has gotten so out of control that even the wandering healers of the island have taken up arms.

healer.jpg (29379 bytes) "Go ahead punk, make my day" - Hunter the wandering healer

Link O Rama
New links added for your enjoyment
- 10:45 pm EST [Greybeard]

Abyss Oracle A news and info page dedicated to the Abyss sever.

UO Bitch An evil news and info page.

UO Guy A hand drawn UO comic page

UO Market A very useful page dedicated to the buying and selling of goods in UO.

May 22nd

Money is the root of all evil
But since i'm evil... what the hell  - 7:30am EST [Greybeard]

A few months back I made the move from Atlantic to Lake Superior. The problem is that my fortune didnt. I am in need of some cashola these days and would like to find 1 of 2 things.

1. Someone on Lake Superior with more money than they know what to do with who is willing to make a donation.

2. Someone on Lake Superior interested in swapping for cash on Atlantic (20k minimum to 100k)

If you fit either of these despcriptions shoot me an ICQ at 298671. My dwindling LS bank account thanks you.

May 20th

msnbc.gif (3040 bytes) Microsoft announces acqisition of Austin, TX based game development firm.

Redmond, May 20th - Software giant Microsoft today announced plans to acquire Origin Systems Inc. of Austin Texas, a game design company most famous for their Ultima series of role-playing games.

We contacted Origin CEO Richard Garriot for his thoughts on the merger. "I have always admired the cutting-edge gaming technology used by Microsoft, especially ever since they released such action packed hits as Solitaire and Hearts. I am quite anxious to get their feedback on our Ultima Online project." Mr. Garriot also goes on to say "You see, thanks to our exceptional Game Master staff here at Origin, we are very much in touch with the needs and wants of our customers. We believe that our players would much rather have us remove certain aspects of the game such as player killing and stealing. We also believe that they would like nothing better than to gather at the local counselor’s guild for a rousing game of minesweeper instead. Now thanks to our joint venture with Microsoft, we can make that wish a reality"

Public relations staff at Microsoft’s Redmond, WA headquarters were already busy promoting the two companies new slogan:

What do you want nerfed today?

May 18th

Fluffy the PK Chicken: Episode one
Fluffy returns - 5:40 pm EST [Greybeard]

Yes boys and girls this is going to be a great summer. Not only do we get to relive the force again, but your favorite PKing poultry is back in Fluffy the PK Chicken III. The beta version programmed by none other than Jedi master Myra Mains is due to be in my mailbox sometime this week. As soon as the game is ready to rock I will have it in the downloads section.

Viewer mailbag
A reader speaks - 5:30 pm EST [Greybeard]

Learner writes:

If OSI DID program the speech patterns of Betsy Wetsy dolls I can imagine what they'd say.
"Sorry, I cannot help you with that!"
"Cut off my head for neat prizes! Cut off mommys head!"

May 16th

Hey dev team!
Here is what we think of most of  your efforts
- 2:39 pm EST [Greybeard]

A proposed evil system that sucks, nerfed thieves, stat loss for murderers, etc etc. In light of all that and more, here is a hearty collective "Kiss My Ass". When will you dolts actually start asking the gamers what we want, instead of drawing your own inept conclusions from the minority of right-wing dingbats who post on the message boards you read? I hope Origins stock falls into the toilet and you get aqquired by Toys R Us to program speech language for Betsy Wetsy dolls. Morons.

kissit.jpg (28278 bytes) Pic courtesy of Ronald McDonald

May 14th

A fitting motto
The mantra that guides my UO existance - 10:25 pm EST [Greybeard]

I think this sums it up pretty well. Nuff' said.

jihad.jpg (14406 bytes) Pic courtesy of Green from Lake Superior

Don't hate me because I am beautiful
I'm.. too sexy for my deer-mask.. too sexy for my deer-mask... - 10:20 pm EST [Greybeard]

Alas, since the thief-nerfing patch I havent been playing on Atlantic with the original Greybeard too much lately, but Jay McLeod was thoughtful enough to draw his rendering of the Butt-Naked Avenger himself, complete with his trademark deer mask. What can I say Jay, I'm touched :)

greyb.jpg (31227 bytes)Artwork courtesy of Jay McLeod

May 12th

A PKing pooch?
Since when did they start putting bounties on poodles? - 10:55 pm EST [Greybeard]

Apparently this is a legimate ad that was posed somewhere... Go figure.

ling.jpg (24782 bytes) Pic courtesy of Vatos Locos

Work it girl!
Getting funky with Fluffy - 10:45 pm EST [Greybeard]

Eat your heart out Richard Simmons, check out the Chicken Aerobics

May 11th

Editorial rant of the month
Stupid is as stupid does
- 9:20 pm EST [Greybeard]

While going through my mail I came across a story from a fellow named PKMachine who was threatened by a GM because he was killing people who attacked him in town (while he was flagged grey) The area of the story that I found most interesting was this comment by the GM:

stupid.jpg (20579 bytes)

To this I have to reply. GM Lint. Are you a complete fucking moron, or are you just trying to be cute here? Have you actually ever even played this game we call Ultima Online? People should be able to defend themself under any circimstances. If the moron who just attacked me because I was criminal flagged happens to get his ass kicked by me, then he a total idiot who deserves to end up face first down on the ground. The bottom line is that if you dont want to die, dont attack people, monsters, or anything else capable of beasting the snot out of you. Just because you underestimated your opponent doesnt mean that your oppponent should be penalized. Maybe you should go pick on some mongbats or sewer rats rather than that guy named "The Glorious BitchKilla, Grandmaster Mage" I would think common sense should dictate to you that you and your little accurate club of ruin are somewhat outmatched.

I have seen it dozens of times.. Someone attacks me because I am flagged, then runs like hell screaming "Help, PK!" the moment I pump a few flamestrikes up their arse. That to me is a sign of someone who is seriously intellectually challenged. After reading complete nonsense like what this GM Lint idiot said makes me have serious doubt about the future of this game. It's one thing to have to actually play side-by-side with idiots, it's something else entirely to actually have them in charge. God help us all.

May 8th

May I help you?
Heh, ... NOT! - 11:20 pm EST [Greybeard]

With all of the recent reports I have heard about "problem players" being banned by overzealous GM's, I thought this pic rang especially true about "customer support" these days.

gmthreat.jpg (16019 bytes) Pic courtesy of Bones UO Comics

May 6th

The cat is out of the bag
The MP3 server goes public - 8:20 pm EST [Greybeard]

Well, I have decided to open up the FTP site for everyone. Have fun, just be sure to do a bit of uploading as well :) And before you mail me asking, NO the server isnt permanent and there are no scheduled downtimes. I try to keep it up as much as possible but there are no guarantees. If it is busy or offline just try it back withinn a few hours. You can find the current list of songs available here. port 21

Login: uoevil

Pass: uoevil

May 5th

Just when you thought you were having a bad day...
It could get worse
-10:45 pm EST [Greybeard]

Sometimes it's better to recycle.

dickless.jpg (28519 bytes)Pic courtesy of Buck Fuller

Before you think I forgot about ya..
The MP3 server still lives -10:40 pm EST [Greybeard]

I have several e-mailed requests for access to the UOEVIL MP3 FTP site which I have never answered. I didnt forget about you nor did I take the site down, its just that I have a few things I need to organize in there before I hand out the next round of passwords. I will try to make time by the end of the week to get everyone who mailed me their access info.

May 3rd

Sometimes you feel like a nut
Sometimes you dont.
- 8:35 pm EST [Greybeard]

Often times I am told that it takes a lot of balls to print the kind of stuff that I do here on UOEVIL, and I have to admit that they are right.

NUTS.jpg (17735 bytes) Now at least we know what happens if I am ever reincarnated as a squirrel - Greybeard

Hear ye' Hear ye'
All the news thts unfit to print - 8:05 pm EST [Greybeard]

Now normally I do not run press releases here, but this is one I feel bears merit. Since the good folks at  OSI apparently havent figured out how to do such wonderful things such as actually asking the people what they want or do not want in the game, I happily promote anyone who collectively gathers the voices of the people.  Check these guys out and let your voices be heard!

Greetings, My name is Agent Orange and I am representing the Ultima Online Player's Union. We are a new group that has tight connections with LadyMOI and the UO Development Team with intentions to improve the relations between the players and the developers of Ultima Online. Our site is a place where players can go and make suggestions that will be realistically considered by us and then by the UO Development team. UOPU provides the means for players to let their voice be heard. Our site is up and running currently at: and we will soon be moving it to

Crime doesnt pay
Actually it does, just not in UO - 8:00 pm EST [Greybeard]

I recieved this link from a fellow who is getting harrased by GM's due to his "playing style". No, he didnt get caught with last target. No, he didnt get caught exploiting bugs. No, he didnt get caught doing anything at all, other than just being the run of the mill badguy. Read all about it here.

May 2nd

I'm not dead yet
The reports of my demise have been greatly exagerated - 9:40 am EST [Greybeard]

Man, have I ever been buried lately. 12 to 14 hour workdays 7 days a week can grind on your ass big-time. Even better, is that it isnt going to let up anytime soon. I guess the worst part is that I am not going to be able to run in the One Lap this year. I had been planning on co-driving my friends 98 vette' this month in the One Lap of America Race. For those of you who dont know what it is, it is basically the direct descendant of the famed Cannonball Run cross country races of the 70's. A weeks worth of nothing but hauling ass and smoking rubber nationwide. Sadly, I cannot afford to take the neccesary week off this month to run with him. For those of you who havent had the opportunity to drive one of the new C-5's, you dont know what you are missing. These new vette's are the most vicious ones off the factory floor yet. On a more positive note, I plan on definately making the One Lap next year, in my own toy no less. Last month I put down a deposit on a 2000' corvette coupe, and the dealer tells me that he should be able to place my order in May, maybe June at the latest. Hopefully that means I will get my millenium yellow road-scorcher no later than August. Plan on seeing even fewer updates then boys and girls, and I plan on spending what precious little bit of Michigan summer that is left doing some real-life PKing (Ponycar Killing) :P

Capitalism is good
Anything for a buck baby - 9:30 am EST [Greybeard]

Noticing that sales of fish steaks were down on her vendor, Demona decided that she needed some new and exciting products in order to keep the money flowing in:

stick.jpg (19889 bytes) "And for only 25 GP more, I'll throw in this fabulous Ginsu broadsword!" - Demona