June Archives

Help Wanted
But are you qualified? - [Greybeard]

Being a counselor takes commitment, dedication, and most off all.. complete fucking insanity.  Here we see "confession night" at the counselors guild.

Pic courtesy of Brakkk

Theres no place like home
More off topic humor - [Greybeard]

While doing a bit of web surfing I stumbled across the following info. Any of you who have done a bit of travelling will appreciate this...

The Top 16 rejected Motel 6 slogans:

16. We’re working on that smell thing, too.

15. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car.

14. As seen on COPS

13. If we’d known you were staying all night, we’d have changed the sheets

12. Not just for nooners anymore.

11. We left off the 9, but you know it’s there.

10. You rented the room, now buy the video.

9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then you wouldn’t have money left over for a hooker.

8. We’ll leave the Lysol for ya!

7. Hey, we’re not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary there on your salary, pal!

6. We don’t make the adultery. We make the adultery better

5. It’s Hookerriffic!

4. Official Lodging of the 1998 Florida Marlins

3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art since 1962!

2. Cheap and Easy-Just Like Your Mother

and the Number One Rejected Motel 6 Slogan...

1. We put the “Ho” in “Hotel”

Off the subject for a moment
This one is too funny to pass up - [Greybeard]

If you have ever had the twisted desire to stick your little brothers pet gerbil (or your little brother) in the microwave then heres your chance.

The Micro-Gerbil

Soap on a rope anyone?
When harrasment backfires - [Greybeard]

We all know that the GM staff at Origin is comprised of out of touch idiots, and here is another wonderful example. This chap might of very well had a legitimate beef but dear Jakarta didnt think so. Maybe next time when he calls him a fudge packing, limp wristed, spooch guzzling choir boy maybe he'll get it... maybe.

Fun with Chaos
If killing you is wrong, I dont wanna be right - [Greybeard]

Last night I saddled up with the forces of Chaos on Lake Superior and helped stack up a few bodies. Click the pic for the full illustrated story.

Almost ready to rock
Fluffy III Beta released - [Greybeard]

Last week I found the latest copy of Fluffy the PK Chicken III in my mailbox. Myra has been working on it pretty intensely so those of you awaiting the games official release will find it available for download soon.

Ok bub, put your mouth where your money is
Umm wait, thats not right - [Greybeard]

How many times has someone challeged you to a duel? How often has that someone been willing to back it up with a wager? How often have they been willing to bet 60k that they have the sack the take you out? Not very freaking often on that latter one. Well, thats just what happened on Lake Superior yesterday, and I have to give up a tremendous amount of respect to Perlaze III, Darktower and Bernie Wrightston for not only making that bet with me and a couple of my guildmembers, but having the honor the show for the fight then actually make good on the money afterwards. It's damn rare that I get a chance to come across guys of this calibre in-game and they deserve recognition for their valor and beat-down skills in general. Click the pic for the full illustrated story.

It lives!
Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated... again - [Greybeard]

What can I say. Work has been a bitch lately, and any free time I have had has been spent administering the smack. (and occasionally recieving it)

Almost ready to rock
The FTP is nearly ready to go online - [Greybeard]

Thanks to everyone who submitted FTP proggies, codes, cracks, etc etc. I have the FTP back together and will be announcing its opening by the weekend. Once I do, feel free to mail me for acess (just not yet :P)

My pimp hand is strong
So dont make me get outta my Seville - [Greybeard]

Some of you may remember the original "Greybeard the Pimp" pic. Well, it seems there is another silky smooth purveyor of the bitch slap on the block. Check out my main man Gryffyn

Pic courtesy of Griffyn of Sonoma

I am your father..
Ok, so I'm really your 2nd cousin twice removed - 8:20 pm EST [Greybeard]

Pic courtesy of Father Fixxxer

Ok, so where did the FTP go?
Here's where... - 8:15 pm EST [Greybeard]

Well, there are two issues here.

1. When I made it public, TONS of people started jamming it for downloads. Great eh? NOT. Although files downloaded quadrupled, files uploaded were cut nearly 75%. That basically means that people too fucking lazy to send me an e-mail for access are also too fucking lazy to upload. So when the FTP does go back online, it will once again be private. (dont mail for access yet, its not up yet)

2. Serv U FTP, the program I was using expired. So if anyone has a good FTP server program that would work or knows a way around the 30 day timer on Serv U, send it along. As soon as I get some server software running I will put it back up.

Give the people what they want
More of what you love in UO II - 10:35 pm EST [Greybeard]

Origins Systems Inc. announces the release of Ultima Online II

Austin, June 3rd - In response to increasing customer demand and in the interests of maintaining their largest customer base, OSI has announced that the long awaited UO 2 will be entitled YO O.

Gone will be the archaic classes of Mage, Archer and Warrior. They will be replaced instead by the Ho, the Pimp, and the Bitchslappa. Following on the heels of EQs level based success, they will be introducing new titles to reflect your rise through the ranks, starting off as a lowly Bitch, rising to Homey, and attempting to reach the coveted status of Bad Mutha Fucka.

New translation software will be introduced to cover Ebonics, both Authentic and the Suburban White Kid dialect.

Reagents, ever popular, will be fully redesigned and the selling system removed. Gone are the five item limits. Now you will be able to freely sell as many vials of Crack to the Vendor as you're capable of pulling from the carcasses of your dead rivals. Note that insta-teleporting guards have been replaced by The Man, also known as Five-Oh. No longer will you be killed, merely shaken down for whatever Crack you are carrying and beaten profusely with a club.

More details will follow as I uncover them. - Staff writer Hassan al Nassir

Squeal like a pig boy!
Deliverance in UO - 10:25 pm EST [Greybeard]

If you didnt see the movie, then you wont get the joke. At any rate, this pic of Tamara soliciting song and dance from one of her victims before she spanks him is pretty obvious even to those of you who dont watch B movies. Maybe she can even convince him to polish her boots.

Pic courtesy of my favorite Evil ones, The Cabal

Enough is Enough
Will the whiners please STFU already - 9:25 pm EST [Greybeard]

After seeing yet ANOTHER "you cheat, you use UOE" discussion on a message board, I feel it is neccesary to once again throw my opinion into the fray. Here was my reply to the post:

There is no hardcore PvP mage playing UO today, NOT ONE, who does not use either UOE or UOA. Anyone who claims different is absolutely full of shit. If its a male, he probably tells people he has never tried masturbation either, thats just the kind bullshit artist he is.

I would also be so brazen as to say that 50% or more of every Chaos/Order player out there whether they are a mage, fencer, swordsman, etc also uses one of these programs. Hell, lets not even get into how many fishermen, miners, etc use UOA for its great stacking features, or its agent feature to sell 1000 freaking fishsteaks to a vendor without spending all day doing it.

I will absolutely not be one of these hypocrital jerks who run around yelling about using either of these programs. As I see it, people who dont use it are simply cheating themselves. Sure, back when UOE was new and people could use cheat features like see and attack hidden people, bank anywhere, etc it was one thing. Now all the grossy misused cheat abilities are gone.

Some might say "Bah, you forget fastwalk!... people use fastwalk to cheat!" And to that I reply "You moron, you dont even know what fastwalk is" Fastwalk is strictly a client side issue. If the server lags, it lags the same for everyone. You can run all over your screen with fastwalk on but guess what. When the client resyncronizes with the server, you are in the same damn place as you were when you lagged. Fastwalk gives you absolutely no real advantage and if anything will get you killed. Sure, on your screen you see that you have ran three screens away. In reality, you are still lagged out next to that GM fencer who is carving you to pieces. I guarantee you that 99% of the the people who have used UOE for any period of time DO NOT use fastwalk. The whole point is, that ignorant people unfamilliar with the program make fast walk out to be something it isnt, a cheat, and a useful one at that.

I have said this on my page before (UOEVIL) that features like last target, heal self, emergency recall, arm/disarm, are ALL features that should have been included in the UO Client to begin with. Hell, even Designer Dragon has said that they want to incorporate them in future patches.

The bottom line is that neither programs gives advatages which shouldnt be in the client anyway, and more than HALF, if not every person you fight out there IS going to be using one of the two. To NOT use them is like taking a knife to a gunfight. Who do you think is going to win?

Also, VIRTUALLY EVERYONE you ask "Do you use UOA/UOE is going to LIE about it. Why? simple. Its a bannable program (like what OSI bans people for makes sense... how many of us DONT macro??)

Am I going to come out and say "Sure, I use UOE, BAN ME!" Of course not. But I have made my opinions on the subject very clear. You do the math.

If there is anyone out there who has never used the program, I stongly enourage them to try it, then make an educated decision as to whether to use it or not. To make claims about how good/bad the program really is while having no knowledge of it other than heresay, is irresponsible in my book.  - Greybeard