August Archives

August 29th

Yet even more bitching
Real Audio style - [Greybeard]

What can I say, being up like 48 hours straight leads one to be a little slap happy. If anything I sound like I'm stoned but what the hell, long hours working may not make for impressive interviews, but at least it's good for my bank account. Fear over at the Battle Vortex did an interview with me the other night so drop in and take a listen.

August 25th

Butt-naked and loving it
Well, kind of.. - [Greybeard]

Lately I have been playing quite a bit of Kingpin. If you happen to ever see a guy named Motown in groovy polka dot shorts run up and melt a cap in your ass be sure to wave and say hello since that would be me.

kingpin.jpg (7235 bytes) The Butt-Naked Avenger lives on!

Unfortunately I have been unable to find a deer mask and a spellbook in Kingpin, so I have to make due with my undies and a machine gun.

New links added
Check em' out - [Greybeard]

Aurelius's Trapping guide - A cool resourse page for those who like to blow shit up.

The PK Ghost - Laying the smack down from the netherworld.

UO Guilds - Guild and general UO news and info, also offers site hosting.

August 21st

Payback time
Let the GM's have it - [Greybeard]

This cheery little link is worth a look-see:

Abuse a GM

Big brother isnt only watching
He's cracking down - [Greybeard]

Here is a scary one for ya to look at, probably a grim forcast of things to come:

First person convicted of software piracy this month in the United States

August 19th

Pink turkey sandwiches and Jose Cuervo
The breakfast of Champions - [Greybeard]

Well not exactly, but you might just be surprised what people will eat given dire enough financial circumstances. I Just got back from Cedar Point today (thats a monster amusement park in Ohio for those of you who arent familliar with it) and had a great trip. We managed to get plenty of pics and I fully intend to hit the speedy photo mart tomorrow so I can share such memories as:

  • Jason aka Sozmic pretending to be asleep while we clowned him for the above mentioned fat chick incident.

  • Ben aka Kodiak/Whoopie pleading for me to not pour him another shot of Tequila lest he may hurl

  • Chris aka Nahum/Lakini's Juice pleading with Ben to let him finish the rest of that half eaten Big Mac.

  • James aka Elmo/Mary Lou becoming violently ill after a record 3 beers and 2 cigarettes (you da man!)

  • Adam aka Hung Lao/Professor Plum attempting, and miserably failing, to pick up 15 year old chicks (even the fat ones)

Thats right kiddies, pics of these exciting events and many more will be detailed in the next day or so once I have gotten the incriminating photo evidence back and scanned into my PC. Stay tuned for details.

August 16th

No he isnt dead
He just smells that way - [Greybeard]

Sheesh, time flies when yer not updating. I still havent quite decided what I will do with the page now that UO is no longer a priority for me, but I'll figure something out. I would mention however that my sale on Ebay finally closed and I sold my account off for a final figure of $725. Not exactly a vast fortune, but far better than a sharp stick in the eye. Anyways, I am off to do some laundry... heading off to Cedar Point tomorrow to binge drink and hurl on some tourists. Wish me luck, updates will follow when I return.

Speaking of binge drinking
The morning after often aint pretty- [Greybeard]

Ya know, one of my sick and twisted cohorts (either Slasher or Corn Pops) sent me this amazing yet incredibly disgusting pic. I have been searching for a appropriate time to use it and what the hell, now might as well be it. Its entitled... When Beer Attacks

Warning: The Surgeon General advises that slamming 1 gallon beer bongs full of Molson may be hazardous to your friends clothing.

August 9th

On a lighter note...
I thought this was interesting- [Greybeard]

Its kind of strapped for content and I have no idea if the host plans on doing anything else with the site, but the banner alone was worth a laugh.

Check out the GM's Lair

On a darker note...
Holy shit, is this ever deep and disturbing - [Greybeard]

This was an article posted by Chuck over at the UOMarket... It's pretty heartfelt and unfortunate stuff, but I definately thank Chuck for sharing it with us and wish him the best.

I have a problem.

This problem has almost ruined my life, and yet, it has been a part of it, and me for over a year. It is called Ultima Online. I started playing "UO" back in June of 98', right after school let out. Sure, it seemed like some 'summer fun' to take some of the boredom out of it, but it became much more then that, at least, to me it did.

I am 15 year's old. I have become so engrossed into this fantasy world that the detriments and ill effects of this game have caused me problems both mentally, and physically. You may think "Oh, he is just a kid", and ignore this, but this spreads to all ages and types of Players in UO. I began to lose touch with friends, to not communicate with my own family as much as I believe a person should, I stay in my room hours on end, many, many hours. 12-13 hours+ a day. That is half of an entire day. I am not ashamed to admit this, only ashamed of it. The obsession came to even a point where I considered spending a lot of money on purchasing things in UO that are not even real.

My own parents have told me of how this has ruined my life. Even a psychiatrist, and a pediatrician as well. When faced with these realities of which I was so easily able to ignore and sink back into 'the game', I became overwhelmed, to the point of crying. I have become pale, and thin.

You may be whatever age, whether you are 12, 21, or even 40+, but it does not matter. This may not even pertain to you whatsoever, and if it doesn’t, I envy you. If it does, “god help you,” (I am Atheist, but the term is very appropiate.) Or atleast, help yourself. Origin does not care, they made this game for profit, they made this game because they are a business, out to make games, and money. I do not blame them, they did an excellent job. Over a million US Dollars a month. If they started selling houses for cash, wouldn’t you buy? I probably would have. Even the lead Development Team does not play UO nearly as much as we do. Richard Garriott plays once a week. If I could honestly say that, I would be very proud of myself, because I can not.

I am not writing this for anyone’s sympathy or compassion, this is a very serious issue, and I don’t expect any. I am writing this in an effort, if anyone cares to read this, to DO something about this game. To STOP playing it if you are anywhere NEAR as obsessed as I am. If UO was a drug, it would be illegal. In a way, it is. Here I sit, non-stop playing, caring about hardly anything but the game, paying money for it. How is it different? If you are a parent, and are reading this, and your own kids play UO, stop it, as soon as you can, do not let it get to them the way it has to my life. Even if you cannot quit, but can limit yourself to an hour a day, then maybe a couple hours a week, you have accomplished a lot. I have been unable to do this. Like a drug, I keep coming back for more. Sneaking ‘online’ whenever I can, dis-obeying rules and all common sense to train that skill an extra couple points, to get some more Fame.

Since I have been unable to do this, I am being forced by others to leave this game. While maybe they do not know, and I will probably never admit to letting them, I thank them very much, they are ‘saving’ me, and this game has only hurt my life. I will be selling my Account and all my online-worldy goods on eBay, and leaving UO Market. Look for my Account in the coming weeks.

If this gets even one person to seriously, seriously re-consider how they play this game, maybe even to leave it, then it is worth it, and will make me a very happy person. I encourage anyone as well, especially younger kids/teens to contact me if they have a similar problem, and just wanted someone to talk to who is going through the exact same thing and just needs advice, even if you are two, three times older then me. This is something very serious to me, and I will not take your letter lightly. I hope that by using my name, and this website, and maybe even others, I can spread this message to as many who will read it.

If you have even gotten to the bottom of this long rant, I thank you for taking some time away from ‘the game’ to hear my plea out, and maybe even take a little more time to write to me about it. I really appreciate it. Thank you, and good bye.

-- ChuckTigre

August 7th

More fun with shockwave
Olbaid is back at it again- [Greybeard]

Some of you may remember his first movie, The SBR files. It was even that much more entertaining if you actually played on LS and knew who SBR was, but good for a laugh even if you didnt. Olbaid decided to put together a tribute movie to yours truly (blush) and my departure from UO. Check out Goodbye UOEVIL here. You can also find both movies at his brand new website, the UO Playhouse.

August 6th

Show me the money
Better yet, give me the money - [Greybeard]

I have heard lots of people lately complaining about the large sums of cash people have been bidding and paying for UO accounts. Comments like "what kind of idiot pays $1000 for a damn game!?" Well lets talk about idiots for a second, me being a prime example. I have a $750 set of golf clubs in my closet that I bought last year, and I've played maybe twice since I bought em. Year before last I paid $500 for a R.C. airplane that I flew 5 times before crashing into a tree, putting it into a box and its been in the attic ever since. Got 2 Kicker ZR360 amps and a pair of McCauley 15'' subs sitting in my basement that I paid about $1800 for. Had em in my Caddy for a summer, took em out when I sold it and they've been collecting dust ever since.

What am I saying? Simple. We all go out and blow money on things that we use for awhile then toss aside. Sometimes we pay shitloads of money for those things and dont even use them but once or twice. EVERYONE on some scale is guilty of this. Even things like those guitar lessons you took three years ago, or that excerise tape buried under a stack of Cheeto's bags in your living room. Now lets look at UO. How many hours a day do you play? one? three? eight? Fact is that most of us play the shit out of the game. Lets look at what your dollar actually gets you. Go out and buy a new set of ski's, poles, bindings, etc. Pay $1500 and get the good stuff. You use em what, 10, maybe 15 times a season?

Now go pay $1500 for a hardcore UO account. Play the game 2 or 3 hours a day, 5 days a week for a year. What actually bought you more entertainment for you dollar? Now everyone might not have the disposable income handy to pay a grand for a placed castle, but for those who can I say more power to ya. I know I have paid a helluva lot more for some things and got a helluva lot less.

It's alive!... alive!
The ol PC is as good as new - [Greybeard]

Thanks go out to everyone who called and ICQed to help get my ailing maching back on track, especially to Dave, the fearless PC guru from Dearborn who managed to work his magic on it (also my condolences Dave, having that gimp you were fighting resist 3 of your GM mage/eval int e-bolts in a row was indeed embarrassing, sorry I had to see that)

August 5th

Truth is stranger than fiction
And UO is the strangest of all it seems- [Greybeard]

If you have never read an episode of PvP you should check it out, Scott is a very talented artist, not to mention a reformed UO addict (though recent reports are that he was fell off the wagon) Here is a comic that I found (ok, so Lum found it first) that I got a kick out of. Enjoy!

August 3rd

Quick, wheres the window!?!
Cause im about to throw this damn PC out of it - [Greybeard]

Ok, this goes out to anyone in the metro Detroit area. If you or someone you know does professional PC repair or troubleshooting, CALL ME! My computer has been giving me hell lately and I need to do something with it before it learns how to fly. ICQ is 298671.. Gracias

Tonight were gonna party like its 1999
Viva la' Y2K - [Greybeard]

I found this wonderful bumpersticker courtesy of my friends at, who in turn ganked it from these guys. Get yours today!

looting.jpg (8700 bytes)

More banning stories
Read em and weep.. better yet, bitch at OSI - [Greybeard]

Just when I thought I was the only one disgusted with OSI's fattening their pockets (short term anyways) by their anti-macroing nonsense, I found these two stories just yesterday.  I'm telling you people, YOU MAY BE NEXT. You need to either speak your peace now or say fuck it and off the ol account at e-bay. Dont wait till its too late. The ONLY reason OSI is cracking down on macroing is so they can make MORE PROFIT by paying for LESS BANDWIDTH. Fact is, they have been making money hand over fist with this game and now they are getting even greedier. What do you think owners of Fords would do if suddenly Ford Motor Company decided they wanted even higher profit margins and started selling cars made out of Lego's cause it was cheaper that way. Sound ridiculous? Sure it does, but fact is thats exactly what Origin is doing with this macroing policy. It doesnt have shit to do with gameplay, balance, etc.. its about PROFIT.

Posted by ( Unit on August 02, 1999 at 01:18:51:

Aye, after playing the game for years and years and donating a lot of time as well as gold into the coffers of those evil bastards at OSI, I have been banned. Mind you, its probably one of those ridiculous 24 hour bans, but it is an insult to me and a blow to my love of the game.

What has the great Unit been banned for, you may ask?

The answer to that question is shrouded (at least to me) in confusion. You see, I have played this game for a *long* time. When first starting out I was a little young and naive (spelling?). I set forth to establish a guild made of good people that would fight the evils in the land of Britannia. Thus, the Fellowship of the Ring was born. A really great guild that has let me have the honor to meet some of the best people on the Lake Superior shard. Then, once FR (or FotR) was established, we placed the first homes on the spot where Rivendell now stands. The town grew, even when the guild itself faded into memory. Now, the town is one of the greatest player-run towns in all of UO, something even Richard Gariott could be proud off and show off at their staff meetings.

Now, through all this I have not broken into houses, exploited (too much), pkd, or been a dumb bastard to anyone that did not deserve it. I have always played the game in the best way I could. Sadly, they changed the rules on me. All of a sudden I cannot macro in the safety of my own home anymore. Suddenly little immature pricks can get their kicks by reporting me when Im out with friends having some beers. This is ridiculous. You might say that "macroing is bad". And Ill agree that the dex fighters of today, that are created in a few days, might be a problem to those who spend countless hours on their characters. However, Ive been there. Unit is one of the oldest characters on the LS shard. He was started the day the server went up. Through all the time he was there I have built him up without using any macros. He used to be a GM Ranger for a time, all built up manually without using any macros or exploits. Then he turned into a mage, again all manually. I think that after putting in so much time, so much effort, I think I earned the right to macro in my house if I so choose. I know this might sound a little big-headed, a sort of "im better than you so rules dont apply to me". But please try to understand where Im coming from. Thank you for your understanding and please come to the protest rally at the kings castle when they try to ban me for good :)

Thank you kindly,


And here is yet another for your viewing pleasure

Posted by Dregon on August 03, 1999 at 03:48:09:

I'm getting my tower ready to sell last night, using 2 computers and 2 accounts to transfer it and move stuff back and forth between the tower and my new house. Of course, my 24/7 neighbors, 'a little kid' and his pal, are up past bed time and they keep coming to the edge of their house to look at me. I wave. I leave one character standing still in the tower and am grabbing stuff at my small house with the other, turn around and a GM has the other account's character standing at the Buc's Inn, I jump over and type before he leaves and say I was taking a piss and my character was just standing still, what kinda macro is that?

GM Cuddles says if I'm ever away from the computer, I must log out, and that we are not at war with Eurasia but rather with Oceania. I believe him. I ask him what skill was I macroing, he even admits "none". So I tell him that I think he and 'a little kid' have some sort of relationship that they are abusing since he shows up on the drop of a hat whenever he is around and even when my guy is obviously not macroing. I mean, if I was only standing still for a minute or two, then who reported me and how can a GM get there so fast? My roommate got reported when he stopped doing his firewall/resist training and turned to talk to me and a friend for a couple minutes. Reported by some other player for "standing still using no skills", aka macroing, and reported by a GM within 5 minutes. How oddly efficient for OSI. If I were ever stuck in a game-stopping sense in T2A, I couldn't get a GM to come for an hour.

I want to ask GM Cuddles where he and 'a little kid' will put all the loot from my tower when it decays because I'm banned, but a glance at the monitor installed in the corner keeps my silent. I tell him I want to complain to OSI about his reporting me in such a short period of time when not even using any skills. "" he says, and is gone. I look at the journal. In order to report me, he showed up, said a couple lines, then said I have 10 seconds to reply, counts down, and boom, there we were. TEN SECONDS!

Tomorrow, my tower will be up for sale on eBay. I sure hope the people who buy it don't macro, and I certainly hope they don't stand still alot. Me? I don't know how much longer I can put up with the shit OSI is shoveling me lately. We'll see how I feel after some time living in my new house in the rolling green hills of Britannia. I love Big Brother, and I love OSI.

August 2nd

Im touched
Truly I am - [Greybeard]

First I'd like to thank the many well wishers who have thanked me for my contributions to the game. I would even like to thank the few who basically said good riddance and told me to get the fuck outta here. (At least I know I got under their skin) And even more importantly my wallet thanks those bidding ever so higher on my account :)

Seriously though, the feedback from those of you whom have enjoyed my work is greatly appreciated. I even had one viewer  who runs a UO site called My Ten Bucks (check it out) write a poem for me. Now, I feel loved..


dedicated to Greybeard for flat out
stopping this game and not putting
up with OSI's trash once and for all.

I remember the day, when the drug came

The first second I used it, my life was a game

They call it UO, for Ultima Online

A big mistake made, a terrible sign

Became so addicted, so screwed in the brain

Without my dear Ultima, I'de go insane

Another reality, another real chance

To do what I wanted, my true romance

So I played all day long, and all through the night

And learned all the ways, to kill and to fight

I did this for months, and loved to PK

Until I realized, it began to get gay

Lamer and lamer, it turned over time

Do something fun, its an Origin crime

"You have been squelched", opinions are wrong

"A one day ban", bah not too long

"You're here for harassment", WTF did I do

"You have UOE", yea so do you

"Its illegal to fastwalk", would u rather me crawl

"I cannot answer that", then who should I call

"We don't like your style", I really don't care

"Is that a BLACK horse?", its called a "nightmare"

"You have been reported", ok now by who

"I'll look into it", oh really whats new

"Check", but shouldn't you know

"Please hold a second" damn your too slow

The GM's I met, so perfectly taught

I keep my manners, and say Thanks alot

Through times of UO, in comes a conclusion

GMs are fake, just an illusion

Because it turns out, these online disasters

In the real world, are known as Gimp Masters

Its sad im addicted, its so hard to leave

But the rep that I have, is great to recieve

All of the killers, the reds and the evil

Infest your game, *leaving you feeble*

Sorry OSI, your plans can't be topped

But more importantly


Cuz when we are done, we say goodbye

We go to Ebay, and then we say Hi

We get our money back, ahh shucks

What can I say, its just my ten bucks.


A cool toy
MP3 lovers will dig this - [Greybeard]

There is a new program out there called Napster. I checked it out for the first time today and thought it was pretty slick. If you are into MP3's it's definately worth a look. Check it out at

August 1st

Greybeard prostitutes himself
The Bearded one can now be yours - [Greybeard]

I figured what the hell, I might as well make back some of the $10 a month i've been blowing for the past two years. My account is now for sale on Ebay. Take a look if yer interested.

Greybeard of UOEVIL's Ultima Online account

Fluffy III is now available!
Our favorite PKing poultry is better than ever - [Greybeard]

You can now download Fluffy III exlusively here at UOEVIL. The game is fully functional and virus free and if you liked either of the original Fluffy games, you will love this. Myra Mains has done an excellent job with it. As usual, there are extra surprises in the game as well:

Type KillemAll then press Enter to take out all the bad guys on the screen.

Type GoPostal then press Enter to activate the new mystery weapons. (two different weapon types randomly appear)

Happy PKing!

Well it was bound to happen
OSI says goodbye to Greybeard and his $10 a month - [Greybeard]

If you read my rant on the 27th, you know my stance on macroing. You also know that I said if OSI ever bothered me because of it, I'd tell them to kiss my ass. Well, pucker up buttercup, I awoke this morning to find Greybeard with a "connection lost" standing in jail next to some gimp GM. Apparently for his evil sin of macroing he has been banned. Whether it is a perma ban or merely a 24 hour ban I care not. Fuck OSI in the ear I say.

I never duped gold, I never hacked stats, I never used 1 hit weapons, I never exploited house break ins. Was I an angel? Hell no, I have killed thousands of people and stolen untold amounts of goods, but I did it all within the defined boundaries of the game. I find it ironic that after all this time (I started playing the week the beta closed) that OSI bans me for macroing fishing with my blue at the edge of a pond way the hell out in the woods. Aint that a pisser? The bottom line is that their policy on macroing is a complete fucking joke.

In any event, I plan on releasing Fluffy III tonight at midnight, but that is my final contribution to the world of UO. By the way, I am going out this afternoon to pick up Midtown Madness and Everquest. Hey guess where your $10 a month is going now Origin, can you spell S-O-N-Y? I knew you could.