The Generous Great Lord
 
 
This story begins in the western forest outside of Trinsic.  I was searching for a lowly travelled spot to place my house and I noticed an Order Guard standing around chopping trees.  I decided to try my luck.
 
"Hail sir." I said.

"ARE YOU A PK?" asked the Great Lord, shortly after entering war mode.

"No sir, for if I was you would be nothing more than a corpse by now." I replied.

"Very funny.  Sorry I'm kinda careful about red people."

"And rightfully so, I hear many bandits are lurking the forests." I said, inching closer to him.

    I took a peek into his backpack and saw nothing but junk.  Why is it that the Grandmaster Virtue Guard people always carry junk?  I took a peek into a green bag and found reagents, about 30 of each.  It wasn't as big a payoff as I expected, but I decided to grab them anyway.  The bag was too heavy to steal so I stole reagents individually, first grabbing the black pearls to prevent any sort of magical onslaught.

"What are you doing?" he asked.  I thought he had noticed that I was robbing him, but it turns out he was just curious as to what I was doing in the woods.

"Oh nothing, simply searching for a place to build my house after I buy it." I said, just after grabbing his ginseng.

"Cool you're going to buy a house?  I don't have one yet." he said.

"You should consider buying one, they are very beneficial." yes... very beneficial to me after I take possession of them.  I grabbed some sulfur and mandrake before he started talking again.

"Well it was nice talking to you, I'm going to have to kill you now though." he said, and removed his viking sword apparently preparing to cast a spell.

"WHAT THE FUCK." he yelled, obviously noticing my handywork =)

"Doth thou kiss thy mother with that mouth?"

"Fuck you thief, you die now!" he said after putting on his viking sword.

"Goody."

    He began attacking me, little did he know that the death robe I wore was merely a disguise.  I removed the death robe and put on my platemail gloves, gorget, and helm.  Then I whipped out my 2nd or 3rd best magical war fork and retaliated.  He was doing more damage than me but I was swinging much faster and landing more often, he realized that his attempts were futile and he began to run.

"I would give chase milord, but I have already taken all the valuables that you possess.  Good day." I yelled in his general direction as I continued searching for a good spot for my house.  Only this time, I had plenty of reagents to practice magery on the way.

 
Moral of this Story:  For starters, don't noto pk people in death robes.  Not only is it a lame thing to do but it can also backfire like it did in this story.  Secondly, don't be stupid and let all your reagents get stolen, try to have SOME idea of what's going on around you.  Finally, don't be a Great Lord.  Redder is better. =)