Tank thief?  Heh, looks like I just created a new UO term.  All of the "famous" big and strong men with the incredible skill and strength required to blade spirit an ancient wyrm for half an hour quickly backed off from me.

"lamer, u need to pick on miners. fucking pk."  they told me.

"I don't pick on the miners, I pick on the people who look strong.  Then I kill them when they attack me.  Their fault, not mine."  I replied.

"Uhhh dude run."  my friend Sauron told me.

I was puzzled as to why he said this, but then I realized that the reason he wanted me to flee is because I had just been spammed by "is attacking you!" messages by the 4 or 5 people who entered the cave.  Since we all know I don't play that game, I recalled.  I returned to the cave right after my flag wore off.

"Wow, 5 against 1.  I must be a pussy for recalling from such good odds."  I said.

"Lamer, we aren't as easy as these defenseless miners."  one of them said.

"You all aren't, but I'm sure ALL of you individually are.  Anyone care for a 1 on 1?"  I challenged, hoping that someone would have the guts to accept.

A fellow named HeadHunter accepted my challenge.  I was surprised, he looked like a complete wimp.  Since I was flagged permanent to him (stole his shit clean) I didn't have to go criminal again, he attacked me and the battle began.

Round 1:  It was a brutal fight, he got me down to half after a few hits, but I took him down to near death.  He backed off and healed himself so I did the same, we were both at full now.

Round 2:  He hit me once... once.  He got down to near death after just a few shots from me, he backed off to heal himself.

Round 3:  He didn't even touch me, I got him down to almost nothing in seconds.  3 of his friends ALL healed him at the same time.

"Wtf?  Whatever happened to the 1 on 1?"  I asked.

"He agreed to 1 on 1, I never did."  one of his braindead friends said.

Personally I think those acts of healing were pathetic.  The guy agrees to a 1 on 1 then all his friends start healing him, it's basically all of them against me since I had no friends present who could aid me in any way.

Round 4:  He didn't touch me, got him down to near death within seconds.

Round 5:  See round 4.

Round 6:  See round 5.

Round 7:  See round 6.

Round 8:  Same as round 7 but he hit me once or twice.

Eventually either he ended up recalling or I left.  His friend then challeneged me and I declined stating that someone who interferes in a 1 on 1 duel is not worthy enough for me to waste HP and bolts on them.  I had defeated HeadHunter 8 consecutive times with odds against me.  My page-visiting fans in the vicinity proclaimed me "Heavyweight Champion of the Cave", a title which I liked. =)  My friend Sauron kept chanting "GOOOOLDBERG, GOOOOOLDBERG" throughout the match to cheer me on.  All in all it was a great fight even though I didn't get any loot.  Just having the opportunity to strut my buff stuff to a combatant who needed humbling was plenty for me.