Damit, red again, fucking miner shouldn't have pissed me off, at least he had lots of ingots. Just as I had collected my loot the little boy's body guard came running in the cave after him.

I was playing my mace fighter Gacoo, I don't play my tank thief anymore because stealing has be raped, I was bored so I was bothering some miners when I started to beat one up and he used a paralyze scroll on me and stood next to me so I accidentally killed him.

"Why are you read?" questions the magey moron
"Uhh, I killed this miner boy, why tough guy?" I reply
"In Por Yelm" he replies

YAY, I think to myself as I rush him with my trusty war ax in hand, fighting mages was my favorite, specially robe wearing respectable wussies like this one..

The magic arrow hit me and bounced back at him and I had him down to half and in need of healing in no time, he ran off and healed while I put reflect back up and by the time he dropped my reflect he needed healing again, this went on 'till I ran out of manna and decided to take some damage.

Finally the fight broke when we were both low and my healing kicked in at the last moment and I decided to throw reflect up again while he blasted himself with an energy bolt at the same time I smashed his head in with my war ax..it was a work of art. The fight took a good 15 minutes and I was glad it was over and I had won.

The loot was good but I only had a moment to admire my new regents and some handsome armor when an archer started pelting me with arrows. I tried to do battle with him but he kept running around and had a much better connection then me so I ran into a public house and hid.

The dumbass followed and soon found himself trapped toe to toe with a very angry pin cushion. More loot for me, hard won and well deserved. I craved more blood, I recalled to bucks and used my ninja skill to get to and away from the bank without being raped, finally I was hunting again, or more like waiting to be hunted.

I was waltzing around some houses near some mountains, I had no idea where I was except the chaos shire was west, I think. Well that doesn't matter what does matter was two mages rushing out of there large forge to give my anus a good romping. I ran a bit and hid, they had hunted together before, one stood near me as I chuckled thinking he didn't know where I was when suddenly the other revealed me and he tried to paralyze me..silly boy should have magic arrowed me first..as he stood help less as his laggy friend wastorn to shreds by my war ax, I didn't bother looting and turned my attention to dumbass mage number one.

I didn't take long at all, me hitting him very hard(I love anatomy) and him scrambling to get away, I circled him and bounce lagged him and sent him to the neither world. I cracked open that body while giving myself a pat on the back, then I dropped the biggest load I ever dropped in my pants as I saw a handsome set of keys on a keyring.

WOOHOOO, no time or point in making copies baby, I busted into the house after grabbing the regs off the other body and searched my new home..nothing but junk!! Everything that wasn't locked down I put to rot on the dead body of a trapped NPC peasant, and dyed there cloth carpet purple. THEN I found it, hmm 5k in gold sitting right there in a bag, why the hell they had 5k laying around I didn't know but I didn't have time to think about it long a character on horse back logged on and started making me feel very unwelcome as I recalled to Bucks Den..

My ninja skills once again got me safely to the bank and back to themainland. Now time for some real fun, I ran all the way over to the Brigade Camp and dressed up like a brigade and stood there waiting for people to attack me, then I realized it was just turning 11:00 and there were no kiddies to fight with. So I ran about hunting for pretty when I saw a lumberjack, I went into war mode and started doing a little npc walk when he attacked me, I beat him up a little and he ran off, I couldn't find him..

I ran up to the baby orc fort near yew and went inside a vendor house right in front of the place when some guy trapped between me and two vendors attacked me..his e bolt hurt me more than I thought they would so I guzzled a g heal and continued my assualt..WTF! he yells and them I find myself outside..

He comes out and starts trying to attack me from his porch so I run into the Orc Fort and he follows..we do a little melee/mage dance of death when some Hally Harry in his "true black" robe comes recalling in..I decide to dance with them both it was fun..until I started to loose Mr. Halberd was hitting me to hard and that wasn't fair..

I decide to run, and run I did I ran out of the Orc Fort, they followed and I turned suddenly and gave Hally boy a good thrashing and he almost dropped when magey healed his boyfriend, he then tried to flame strike me but I was to quick on the reflect draw, I decided I'd take the split second to hurt hally newbie while mage newbie dropped my reflect. It worked and hally was almost dead but suddenly a flame burst on mr.hally and he dropped!

NOTE: Newbies should learn how to use UOE, see Mr. Mage must have had a macro to heal Mr. Hally, but he hit this macro before canceling his flame strike therefore killing his newbie butt buddy.

Now mage boys starts to run screaming his lil' head off back to the shelter of his vendor house, luckily the front of his home is blocked by impassable bramble bush and there is only one way to the door, luckily I blocked this little path making him uncomfortable to say the least. He stands there for a few seconds while I'm blocking his escape giving me time to hurt him very badly, he runs in the other direction and I drop him shortly..DAMIT! nothing but crap on both of them, he must have exhausted his reagent bag fighting me..

As I opened my paper doll to open my pack so I could store all this fine loot I drop another load in my pants to see I am no longer a murder but VILE!! I'm Vile I'm Vile! I scream, tears rolling down my cheeks as I dance with the dead corpse..Vile at last Vile at last thank god oh mighty Vile at last..

I make my way to yew bank and I hit meg-o-lag and I am spammed and a newbie is begging for orc helms and another is trying to sell a boy he found..people are fighting water elements summoned by the god-o-lag, and some guy cussed me out for being Vile!! Hmm, yeah sure am glad to be blue..oh well..

Moral of the story? REEDDER IS BEDDER!! hehe, no the real moral of the story is, before you start a macroin' think about what is so great about being blue? You can walk through the lagged streets of Britain? Or watch SuPaPimp and I.B. Stealen duke it out in a noble chaos/order war? I prefer the life of a murder but not the stat loss..hmmmm ah whelp guess ya can't have the best of both worlds..FUCK OSI!! hehe..