I logged on that day outside a house that I had staked out the night before, and there was a person still macroing inside. (You can somehow magically mine mountains from inside houses, of course that's not a bug) I begin talking to friends on ICQ about what we're gonna do that day when *click* I see the door open, and the occupant, named Lily, steps out. I quickly run inside and proceed with opening all the chests.

"Hello." She said, I expected something like "Get the hell out"

"Hi" I replied. "You have shit" There was nothing but empty chests. Then I saw 950 ingots sitting on the floor so I scooped those up for my friend's blacksmith character.

"How may I help u?" Lily said. I began wondering if she even saw that I was a murderer?

"Gimmie your key" I lazily said.

"No"

I snooped her and saw a key so I ask for it one more time, "Gimmie your key" No response, I guess I'll have to kill her and take it.

One bolt hits her and takes her to 2/3 health, another, 1/3. It's at this point that any intelligent person logs out, since you can log out instantly if your holding the key.

So I kill her, surprising me because if I were her I would have just logged out. I find a bag full of ringmail gloves, so I quickly scoop those up and leave.

My friend Fenlock arrives soon after and we make sure we got everything.

"This loot blows" I sadly said.

"Now we have a smithy for my blacksmith though." Fenlock said beaming.

Is the fun over? Surely no, the day has only begun.

We throw all that crap on the floor of our house and run out to find some more fun.

We run about 5 screens east and find a small house with a boy named Zecklar sitting inside. He belonged to a guild named KGB. I hide a bit close to the house and Fenlock a bit farther away to the south. It's at this point that I thought I was gonna have to wait because surely he saw us run and hide.

"Well wait here for a while" I whisper to Fenlock.

Then *click* the door opens, "Wtf? What is this guy smoking?" I thought to myself. I began running towards the door thinking I wont make it, lag, and boom I'm inside. Fenlock follows me and we start opening chests.

"GM coming now." Is all he said. "Out"

"This is legal, stupid." I said as I laughed.

"Corp Por" He blurted. Then nothing.

"In Flam Grav" *You feel yourself resisting magical energy* Again, again and again.

"In Flam Grav"

"In Flam Grav"

"In Flam Grav"

"In Flam Grav" I wish I got a screen shot of this!

It's at this point that I just fell out of my chair laughing. Here I am taking just about 0 damage and his health is going down, down down. Lucky for him he didn't have to feel the pain very long because Fenlock and I had our bows equipped and we auto attacked. He tried in vain to heal himself once, twice. However, the dumbass brought his health back down to 1/10 walking through his own fire fields, a single bolt and we hear that great sound "UUURRRRRNNNNNN"

"OoooO oOOo OOo o" He kindly said. Fenlock did spirit speak and tells me he said, "I'm quitting because of you."

"Holy shit!" I screamed when I had a chance to look at all his shit. "Look at all this shit!"

With the two of us working it took us about, 10 trips, to loot the place clean. Before I leave on my last trip I put the beggar and the horse, who were boxed in, out of their misery and neatly stack all the empty chests along the back wall for him.

It took freakin 5hrs. for Fenlock (being blue) to go to town and sell tons of shit. We got about 55k, 10 different sets of platemail, several magical items, and a partridge in a pair tree. I was pissed because I didn't get any additional murders or bounty on my head! That bastard just HAD to attack me first and kill himself!

I was also happy because I got 3 keys that didn't go to the house we looted. Fenlock and I then tried to find the house that went with the mystery keys using several runes we looted but we never found it. We did happen to find another KGB house next to the chaos shrine but no keys fit, if I ever find out that they kill newly ressed reds there, they're all going down! (If I haven't brought them down already)

"Don't be sad my friend" I told Fenlock. "Look at all this shit we got!"

So we settled down and he brought out his blacksmith and we used the new forge we got to repair all the platemail. Then it was about time to log off, sad I know, but tomorrow is another day.