After my family decided to "disperse" on Christmas day, It was time for me to give every UO player a "Very EiG Christmas" I was planning to go super red, and take everyone's Christmas prize claim ticket, just for the purposes of spite. My first stop was a quote un-quote "player run village" consisting of 3 huts, two of which are public. I see two people of the same guild in one house, ironically bearing the Assassin's guild sign, and decide to have a little fun. I begin to talk with them, to see who they are, etc. I see one is a GM fencer. I decide not to fuck with these people just as the GM fencer says, "I gotta go. Kal Ort Por" I walk over where he was, and now the fun begins. The guy, who was my target, was stuck in a corner between a Christmas tree and me. I cast agility on him, so he doesn't have full dex, and I proceeded to block him in and beat the hell out of him with my deadly poisoned, exceptional kryss. He continually tries to recall, the screen looking somewhat like:

Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
Kal Ort Por
(note, you can't cast recall when you are trapped by a master fencer who has 100 dex)

Then Finally, I heard the beautiful "UGGGGGNNNNHHHH" sound, which is followed by the "thump" of his head hitting the ground. I looted his corpse.... Full suit exceptional plate, 2 GHeals, and a sac of blank keys. Oh well, it could have been worse.

After taking a quick look around the rest of northern Minoc, I decide to head to the dungeon wrong and do a little pking there. I go to level two, where I know if I kill someone, they will have loads of blade spirit reags. I see a fellow murderer, and say hi. He goes about his killing, and I stand around looking for my own target. I killed a few monsters, and I see the murderer teleport into the spot surrounded by chairs and between 2 counters. If any of you have ever been to wrong level 2, you know what I'm talking about. He proceeds to ebolt me once, and it reflects back to him, and he chugs a heal. I say

"Bad move, Jerkass"

And begin pumping for a firefield. I cast my wall of flame directly over him. He laughs and says

"Do you know what my resist is??!"

"Do I care?" I say, followed by my chanting of In Jux Hur Ylem I cast the blades right next to him, and while it is wasting him, he tries to cast dispel

An Ort
An Ort
An Ort
An Ort
An Ort

The firefield was disrupting his casting, while doing little damage. I drop a second BS, and watch him wilt to the ground. I see the ghost there, where he had died.

"OoooOooOooOOoOOOooooOOOoOOOOoooo" said the trapped ghost. I stood next to his corpse on the outside of the chairs, and looted like mad.

You are overloaded, you can only carry 380 stones, but are carrying 478. Was the first message I got after picking up one of the many pouches. I open it up... some 200-odd amount of each reag... 470 arrows.. a pouch of Gheals, Gexplosions. I grab the other 2 lighter pouches, and take his head. I say

"Ill gate you outta here" which was then cut off by my cackling, realizing he was stuck, and it was 7 more hours until GMs come on. "Have fun in your own trap, fuckhead"

I say after gating my overloaded self out of there, to the Minoc bank. Quickly spotting the guard, I hand him the head. "7322 gold has been credited to your account" Or whatever message you receive when you cash a bounty.

Sorting through my loot, I realize, Christmas really is the season for sharing, As I thought back on the trapped murderer, I laughed again. I have absolutely no remorse for evil players who attack me, after they know I'm evil.

Cyle of EiG