Joy of Villainy News Archieve

August 1998

Saturday August 29, 1998

Well the day most of you thought would never come, has come. I'm quitting UO. Before I say why I quit and before I say what's going to happen to the JoV, don't bothering e-mailing me telling me not to quit. It's not going to work. =) (but go ahead if it'll make you happy.)

Well, I'm quitting UO. Actually, I already quit 2 weeks ago. I got tired of all the crap that goes on (and ALL the crap that doesn't go on.)

I'm walking around with a cable modem, I download at 50-120k/sec but I move in UO like I was on a 28.8... wtf? I died 2 weeks ago as a murderer because I got a connection lost AFTER I clicked my rune to recall from a group of 10 "nobles." Even though I was still connected to the internet I was no longer connected to UO. Knowing that I already clicked my rune I figured I should be safe near my house - I wasn't. I was dead and picked clean by the time I logged in. Good job OSI, client side lag? Haha I bet.

The time it takes for OSI to fix what they said they will. They are fixing the problem with people with -4 karma not being able to deal with storekeepers in this patch. This problem has been around EVER SINCE THE REP PATCH WENT IN! Don't get me wrong, this bug doesn't bother me at all. What does bother me is that if it takes this long to fix a simple small bug that any idiot can fix, then how long is it going to take to balance weapons or implement the house patch? From DD: Oh that is on my "things to do list." Hey DD, how about you let everyone see your "things to do list" at the next player gathering? I can loan you an 18-wheeler to haul the fucking thing over.

How about these seers? Seers are all willing and happy to go around in town and give quests to the Glorious Lord ancient wyrm EV'ers/BS'ers (even though I haven't seen them doing that much lately,) but giving an evil player a quest is completely unimaginable. What's wrong with going to Joe the murderer and giving him the quest of returning the head of Prince BillyBob who is rumored to be travelling from Britain to Trinsic? Maybe because OSI doesn't want evil-folk to have any fun unless they make it themselves.

Now this whole T2A crap. You guys know what T2A is? It's normal UO with a big chat thing (which should have been included in normal UO anyway) and a bunch more creatures and areas. Do you have ANY idea how easy it is to add a new area into the game? Pay $20 bucks for something that isn't even a big deal? Nah that's ok I don't think so.

Oh and those GMs, you know... taking years to respond to legit problems because they are too busy spying on people in town and being the UOExtreme police. Did you hear? My friend got *PERMANENTLY BANNED* for equipping a BACKPACK with UOE. BIG FUCKING DEAL! How does that damage the game in any way OSI? Fast walk? Fast walk is considered illegal because it prevents you from lagging. A GM is running around... he lags for a few seconds. But Joe is still walking... Hey that's not fair he has a good connection! Ban time! Hey did you hear DD at the HoC chat? Him talking about the "special surprises" that are in store for UOE users once the new patch is in. I hope to GOD that those special surprises involve some sort of file deletion or unfavorable modifications to someone's computer so that a nice fat lawsuit can be filed.

In addition to what I just said, I want to let everyone know that I'm not quitting because of all the problems in the game. I'm quitting because OSI is very slow and lazy in FIXING them. I paid $50 dollars for this game last year when it came out. I've been paying $10 a month ever since then. In total I have given about $180 dollars to Origin Systems Incorporated. Multiply that by oh about maybe 50,000 people who have probably been playing since the start just like me and what do you get? You get $9,000,000 that we have given to OSI. This is all they could do for us? There hasn't been a new server added to the list in months, and the last patch was so long ago I can't even remember. No, no more. I refuse to be a paying beta tester any longer. I refuse to WASTE my dad's money on this game. Yes, I do pay with my dad's money. My dad's money that he works hard to earn and it ain't fair to be using it to fill an ass like Richard Garriot's pockets. I suggest all you who use mom and dad's money to pay for UO do what I did. If you pay with your own money then whatever but I think no one should pay for this game until it's past the beta stages.

Most people end a "I quit" essay with "I might return when sufficient improvements have been made." Not me, I'm going to end mine differently.

I'm not returning, ever.

2:00amEDT   -Warik 

JoV Up For Grabs

Since I've quit UO, the page is now up for grabs. If you want to be the future webmaster of The Joy of Villainy just send me an email.

The email must include the following. (bold ones are mandatory)

  • Name
  • Age
  • How long you've been playing UO.
  • If you're evil or not and what do you do in the game to be evil (don't want no goodie-goodie weenies running my page.)
  • How much experience you have in HTML (how long you've known it.)
  • An example of what you are capable of doing with HTML.
    • This one is a MUST! I need to know how good you are in HTML and if you'll be able to maintain this page as good as, or better than I used to.
    • You must include either a link to what you feel is your "best work." or a ZIP file containing a few HTML documents of what you can do.
  • Whether or not you can work in a text editor.
    • This is not a mandatory requirement to be given the "job" but I'd like to know if the person I'm giving my page to is able to edit the page in Notepad instead of Frontpage or something. Some use of Composer or Frontpage is OK since I've done it a few times myself.
  • And the last one... whether or not you can pay $14 a month for webspace (and you have to pay for the current month before the page is given to you.) You're allowed to use sponser advertisements to pay for the webspace and they easily make enough money for you to do so.

Thanks to all of you for your support of the JoV in the months that it has existed. Thanks to all of you who will miss me after page ownership changes and you never hear from me again. And thanks to OSI for INTENTIONALLY fucking up royally. 2:10amEDT   -Warik 

One More Thing...

Oh one more thing. For any of you who have already quit UO, or plan to in the near future and are real RPG fans... may I suggest you purchase or pirate Might and Magic VI: The Mandate of Heaven. I bought this game a few days ago and once I started playing it I knew I'd never return to UO. You actually get a party of characters with 6 different classes, you gain experience and gain LEVELS (think maybe you should have thought of that in a ROLE-PLAYING GAME OSI?) Also different kinds of spells and skills, almost all of them useful (don't get me wrong, UO skills like cooking and spells like bless are useful too!) Countless quests too, and you don't have to wait for some silly man in a green robe to talk to you in screwy Elizibethean language to get one.

Well that's about all I have to say about me quitting UO and not updating the page anymore. If you're interested in updating the page email me following all the requirements in the preceding message and we'll talk. Also if you buy/already have Might and Magic VI and need some help then email me about it. I'm still a newbie (shudder) but might be able to offer some assistance.

l8r d00ds, I'm through.
2:23amEDT   -Warik

     Saturday August 22, 1998
New Story 

There's a new story up in the story section by Eclipse. Also, I'm going on vacation again this weekend and there will be no update until Tuesday (if someone sends me some stories or anything to update that is...) Expect a new comic soon since I finally reinstalled Photoshop.
3:32pmEDT   -Warik

     Thursday August 20, 1998
Update, and just so you all know... 

Just so you all know, the reason there has been no updates in two is simply because there was nothing to update. I am way past the "too lazy to update" phase and I will update everyday as long as there is something in my mailbox to put up. Just because there is no update one day doesn't mean that there will be none the next day. Just wanted you all to know.
11:45pmEDT   -Warik

New Story 

I've put up a story by Cecil in the stories section.
11:37pmEDT   -Warik

New Link 

I've added a link to Ammenetik's UO Comics. Some are pretty funny I suggest you go check it out.
11:35pmEDT   -Warik

     Tuesday August 18, 1998
GameSpot BS 

Check out this article on GameSpot where they claim they "did not in any way, shape, or form pressure Origin to strike the references to Zog from Ultima Online." Sureeee guys informing a major software corporation that something in their game allegedly has anti-semitic meaning is no pressure at all. On the contrary, it sounds more like encouragement to keep using the name "Zog Cabal!" Doesn't it???
6:20pmEDT   -Warik

Evil Roleplay Essay 

I've put up an essay regarding evil roleplay by Brent Waldher. It can be found in the newbie section.
6:05pmEDT   -Warik

Poll Fixed 

I have fixed the Zog Cabal poll. Sorry for the problems and thanks to all of you who brought this to my attention. =)
12:08amEDT   -Warik

     Monday August 17, 1998
Yea Yea 

Yea yea sorry I know I haven't updated in ten billion zillion years but it's all gonna change or something. When I reformatted my hard drive I forgot to backup my email messages and all the stories that were pending posting were deleted. If you sent me a story within the past week or so and still want it posted, send it over again and I will post it. Oh by the way, if any of you people out there are wrestling fans and remember a guy named the Ultimate Warrior, he's gonna be on WCW Nitro today at 8EST on TNT. If you don't like wrestling then like, lemme alone.
5:00pmEDT   -Warik


There seems to be more bugs in Hercules' head than on his page. Anyone see the bug he put up yesterday? "Stack up gold and walk on it and you can break into people's houses." Lol I tried that out on my own house and I couldn't get higher than 1 stack of gold. Dude why don't you just say "I can't find any good bugs for you to exploit, and if I have... I don't want to tell you. I'm taking the page down forever now, byebye." Save your host some damn bandwidth, if you still get traffic that is.
4:08pmEDT   -Warik

New Poll 

I put a poll up regarding the Zog Cabal stuff, go take it so we can show OSI that nobody really gives a damn what name they use.
4:04pmEDT   -Warik

New Story 

Since my mail got wiped I put up a story about what happened to me yesterday. Check out the Warik section for it.
4:01pmEDT   -Warik

Zog Cabal Stuff 

Ok honestly I really don't know too much about wtf this Zog Cabal was before GameSpot made OSI kill it, I don't keep up with all the roleplayer events since they usually aren't bad-boy oriented. All I know is that the Zog Cabal was a group of guys trying to break everything with some cool spell or something, and GameSpot started bitching to OSI about how the word "Zog" has anti-semetic meaning (anti-jew) because some guys made some little organization years ago called Z.O.G. Let me take this opportunity to express my opinion, bullshit. Who cares if they have the same letters? Besides, "Zog" is a word, "Z.O.G." is an acronym. I seriously doubt... no wait, I *KNOW* that OSI had no "anti-semetic intentions" in mind when they started using the word Zog in the Ultima Series, and I also *KNOW* that they had no "anti-semetic intentions" when they started using the word Zog in UO. If they were preaching anti-Jewish stuff in UO with the Zog Cabal then I'd understand GameSpot bitching, but what the hell? They weren't doing anything inappropriate with the word Zog. My God man I'm Catholic and I don't go to OSI yelling about how all the pentagrams in UO are promoting satanism. Imagine if all good ideas had to be killed because of someone whining. OSI bring back the name "Zog Cabal" and use it like you were before, if anyone wants to bitch about it then let them. I seriously doubt that someone would stop paying for UO because of the word "Zog" being used anyway.
3:51pmEDT   -Warik

     Friday August 14, 1998
No New Stories Today 

I didn't post the new stories today because I was planning on re-doing the story section tommorow. Posting them today would be a waste of time since I'd have to change them again tommorow.
3:20pmEDT   -Warik

New Comic 

I've added a new comic, tell me what you think.
3:10pmEDT   -Warik

Message Board Trimmed 

I cut a few hundred posts out of the message board to speed up its loading for those of you with slow connections. I will be resetting the message board once a month now (so on September 1st everything you see on it now will be gone.) Too bad we all don't have cable modems and T1s.
3:07pmEDT   -Warik

Press Release 

Midwest UO Players Gathering

This is the last announcement that will be posted for the event. This Saturday and Sunday (August 15th and 16th) we will be holding a bash in Detroit Michigan for UO players throughout the Midwest. There will be fun for everyone with activities including swimming, volleyball, a dinner and night on the town, paintball games and an outdoor BBQ. Time is getting short so if you haven’t made plans to attend yet be sure to e-mail me ( or drop by the event website ( for schedules, pricing and activity information. Hope to see you there!


2:55pmEDT   -Warik 
Finally Updated 

Ok I finally updated. Sorry for the delay. =) There is no new pic of the week though, that will be corrected in a day or two when the new week starts.
2:49pmEDT   -Warik

     Saturday August 8, 1998

Grrr, sorry for the lack of updates... and sorry for the fact that there will be no update tommorow or Monday because I'll be on vacation. All will be normal Tuesday though. =)
1:58pmEDT   -Warik

New Comic Soon 

I was gonna post a comic today, but when I tried to go into FUSE to make it, FUSE didn't work. Looks like the new client patch made UO incompatable with FUSE or something. I'll have to reinstall UO onto another drive to make comics now so expect a new one soon.
1:53pmEDT   -Warik

New Stories 

I have three new stories up, one by Cory, Grithor and another one by Agony Creed (fixed the problem with Agony Creed's story being invisible.)
1:50pmEDT   -Warik

     Wednesday August 5, 1998
The Weekly Whine 

Good job Green EGG, let's just bitch about the broken patch a day AFTER it is published. Heheh, they uninstall the patch, install a backup, and NOW is when Green EGG cries about what technically never happened (we never lost our stuff cuz backup was restored... except you Baja folks of course =( ) Damn man post a BUG for God's sake, or don't post anything at all.
8:35pmEDT   -Warik

New Polls 

I got two new polls up, one about the recent UOExtreme program (which won't work in the new patch) and another regarding gender (curious to know how many bad girls we have out there.) =)
8:30pmEDT   -Warik

New Story 

New story up by me, it was so funny... you people should have been there. =)
8:25pmEDT   -Warik

     Tuesday August 4, 1998

This is the first ever SECOND update in 1 day I'm doing to the page, but this is very important and you must all know about it. It seems that with the installation of the new patch, OSI has once again ended up with their foots in their mouth and their thumbs up their ass. Although the new patch does implement all the features spoken about on the Update Center, there is also a new bug.. err I mean "feature" (bug, what was I thinking... UO is bug free!) that makes all items (including the ones in houses) decay at an alarming rate (how's a few minutes sound?) I logged in to the game, went to my house to put some stuff away... and saw that 300 arrows and my bookcase were missing. I called a GM to ask what gives and suddenly the THRONE I WAS SITTING IN DISAPPEARED! I ran over to my goodies chest and took everything important out and put it on my character. A counselor showed up a few minutes later and told me that if you pick up the item and drop it again, then the item should be fine (I have no idea why doing this would fix anything, but do it anyway.) Also, pick up ANY important items in your house and logout. If I were any of you, don't even BOTHER playing the game until 1 or 2 days after patch day when OSI can fix the patch because I hear SKILLS are dropping like crazy as well.
11:42pmEDT   -Warik

No Update Saturday, Sunday, and Monday 

I'll be on vacation Saturday, Sunday, and Monday so there will be no update (but you can still go to the message board and talk about stuff of course.) And I wish you would, only about 10 or 20 people who actively post in there anyway.
8:22pmEDT   -Warik


There's a new "helper" availible for UO called UOExtreme. You can get it from UOEVIL.COM or from XsploitZ. I haven't used it myself so I can't answer any questions about it, but all I know is that you can get banned for using it (although detecting of it is impossible unless you are careless.)
8:10pmEDT   -Warik

New Stories 

New stories by Nighthawk and myself.
8:00pmEDT   -Warik


I received this from Greybeard:

I am pleased to announce that the Midwest UO Players Gathering is on! The response has been great and we should be able to expect 40+ players in attendance minimum.

When? August 15th and 16th

Where? Detroit Michigan

What? TONS of festivities. We will have a hospitality suite with food, drinks and Internet access on Saturday for everyone to socialize at, a 3 to 4 hour paintball competition later in the day along with dinner and other entertainment throughout the evening. Sunday there will be an outdoor barbecue with swimming, baseball, volleyball, and many other activities.

There will be fun for all ages and a complete schedule of events along with a FAQ page can be found at

Be sure to reserve your place in this fantastic event ASAP!


7:45pmEDT   -Warik 

     Sunday August 2, 1998
New Pic of the Week 

Check out the new pic of the week, I got this idea while I was searching for logs. (Make sure to look at bottom of pic.)
10:30pmEDT   -Warik

Two New Stories 

I got two new stories up, one by Eclipse and one by me.
10:21pmEDT   -Warik

Menu Bar Change 

I put a little control console on the menu bar to control the page music in case you'd like to turn it off.
10:15pmEDT   -Warik

     Saturday August 1, 1998
Yes it's me... 

To all you dickheads on Great Lakes who don't believe that the Warik standing next to the Britain Healer is me, IT IS. Now shutup and stop calling me a fake.
12:21amEDT   -Warik

New Stories 

Put up two new stories, one by Pinion and one by Black Ice.
8:28pmEDT   -Warik

Luncheon Press Release  

I got this from Greybeard over at UOEVIL:


Midwest players luncheon:

On the weekend of August 15th and 16th I am looking to assemble a UO players luncheon/gathering here in Detroit, Michigan. All players are welcome to attend, and hopefully we can get some folks from Indiana, Ohio, etc to attend as well. At this point I am looking to see how much interest there is in this event. If you would like to attend, please e-mail me with your name and contact info. Once we have a sufficient number of people costs, directions, times and dates will all be published on my page as well as sent to all interested parties via phone, fax or e-mail. Also please check our web site for additional updates, as I will be listing all attendees there as they respond as well as details on the gathering. If our turn out remains small, we may limit it to a lunch gathering. If we have a nice sized group, we may consider an outdoor barbecue and beer-bash (ahem, soft drinks only for the under age crowd) rental of a theatre for a private movie screening, or taking over the local lazer tag facility for an afternoon of virtual PKing real people :) Let me know what ya' think.


8:24pmEDT   -Warik 
The Edge Moved 

The Edge has moved to The links page has been updated accordingly.
8:15pmEDT   -Warik

HUOPA Announcement 

I received this from Malice Kaotik:


I would like to inform everyone of the Houston area of the next Houston Ultima Online Players Association dinner being held on August 22nd at Joe’s Crab Shack on Richmond. We will be having more of the same faces, hopefully some new faces, and as we are being told at the time of this statement, representatives of OSI will be in attendance. If you are interested in attending the next meeting please send email to

You will need to include your real name, character(s) names, ICQ#, ICQ name, age and email address. We will be sending out confirmation letters to everyone a week in advance of the event.

The HUOPA’98 web page will be updated with the time, place, directions to the location, and even a link to Joe’s Crab Shack on the net so you can check out the menu.

Be there, if you dare,

Malice Kaotik,
President, HUOPA’98

8:05pmEDT   -Warik