It
was a normal Sunday. Cold as all a welldigger's ass, dismal, dreary, and
very boring. It was just another day of Ultima Online. Seeking to find
adventure and excitement, and maybe kick a little ass in between, I gave
Nighthawk a buzz, We simultaneously decided it was time to get up off
our sore frozen asses and go abuse some people. Thats what I like about
Nighthawk He's the Grandmaster Motivator. He likes to be a villianous
cocksucker like myself. Nighthawk logs in Crum and it was time to make
some gravy. I told him i'd be right back, and I hit the John. Upon returning,
I found Crum geared and ready to go. We did the usual, gated around, killed
here, killed there, stole a bit everywhere. So I says to Crum, "ya know
Crum, it's Sunday, I think there's a CoC today." "Hell yes" Crum exclaimed
with great relish. From that point on, we knew it was our duty, as cocksuckers,
to lend Avalon a hand in making the next CoC be the greatest splurge in
history. So I stormed us up a gate to the local Avalonian Contest of Lag
Arena. It was time to prepare for what was to be a great time of joy and
villainy. We decided it be best to make a grandiose entrance for a Cousteau
shot of killing. We needed more people to help us, and finding fellow
CoC Supporters with as much heart as we had wouldn't be too difficult.
Crum went and gathered us some blank runes.. The tournament began in an
hour,
and we wanted to line up some runes' markings for mad kung fu style entrances.
We'd all gate in in a line, and it would be good. Well while we were marking,
our friendly neighborhood Artemus strolls up, begins to mark some runes
for himself. He noted that he was working with LoD, that LoD was pissed
and wanted to crash the party themselves. Well, now we had competition,
they would ruin our grand entrance with a functified sloppy entrance that
only LoD could muster. They wanted to recall in, to have mana. Well, that
was too simple for
Crum and I. We do things the hard way. So off we went with our rune collection
to recruit some fellas and do some gay bashing. We found some of UO's
hardiest men within 15 minutes, and had us a scout blended in with the
Avalonian crowd. We got some quick uniforms together, and discussed our
plans.
After our CoC team was assembled, our call for glory was received. We decided to make our entrance in CoC's 1st match, to beat LoD to the punch. Executing our quickly discussed plans with an accuracy only a broken calculator could muster, we switched to asshole mode and we made our entrance to the Arena to start our slayings.
Dressed in white, the color of purity, we represented ass in it's most basic form. Quickly we noticed Avalon was somewhat organized..they had black robes and all. Unfortunately it takes more than fancy apparel It was time to wreak some havok.
Quickly it became a chaotic clusterfuck of lag andenergy bolts. But ya see, it was us stirring the shitstorm, not these nimrods in their fancy suits. Quickly 4 were down to our wrath, and unfortunately Heretic from our team was down. We all bowed our heads for a moment of silence. We would avenge him. For once again it would be the white men holding the black men down.
The battles were swift and fierce, and very very lagged. As you can see in the following pic, we produced many a corpse with only one man down. This ladies and gentlemen, is what I call an asswhooping. Count the bodies and weep. Weep for poor Heretic, the only man we lost. I coun 9 dead to our 1. Need I say more?
I will leave you with the aftermath. I recalled back to the arena to see what was going on, to count the dead. It was a dead place, LoD had cleaned up the rest of the Avalonian survivors and disposed of the corpses. It was a great day for all of us.
Would like to thank the Team for a great night, and a good show, and a special big shout out to myself for being so goddam cool.
The Team
Ronald McDonald
Crum
Magnus
Reaper
GaLaHaD
Shai'tan
Vader
Khan IV
Heretic
This story was brought to you by McD ProductionsTM